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February 7, 2017

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Home » City specials » Hangzhou

Love is blind? Not with eyes wide open!

By Wu Huixin | February 7, 2017, Tuesday | Print Edition

WHILE most people reluctantly trudge back to work after the Lunar New Year holiday, one group of young singles is relieved to escape the traditional family get-togethers.

For them, the holiday at home meant annoying blind dates arranged by parents anxious to see them married and end­less questions about their love lives.

In one online survey, more than 90 percent respondents admitted they had been sub­jected to blind dates, and about 57 percent said they in­volved up to 10 dates during the weeklong holiday. Respon­dents from Zhejiang Province reported the highest number of such dates.

“I dated four strangers in five days,” said Marian Zhou, 29, who works for an e-com­merce company. “My parents and a matchmaker were all involved.”

The strain of being forced to go out with men she didn’t know caused Zhou to cut her stay at home short and return to Hangzhou.

“I’d rather work than go out with a stranger and feel awk­ward,” Zhou said. “Nothing could be weirder than a blind date. I just felt like a commod­ity being perused for purchase. It was humiliating.”

A majority of unmarried people works in big cities, and when they return to their hometowns to celebrate Spring Festival, they find themselves prey to their parents’ marital ambitions.

Finding a mate is never an easy process, but most young people want to do it on their own terms.

The survey result, which spread widely on social plat­forms, showed that male respondents focused on the occupation of female dates, preferring accountants and nurses. Women on the other hand, tended to want a man who is a company manager or civil servant.

“I am a civil servant, but I think Hangzhou women prefer natives rather than out-of-town men,” said 30-year-old Alex Yang.

Yang’s parents, anxious for him to marry, arranged three blind dates for him during the holiday.

He duly went out with all three. They exchanged social networking information but never contacted one another after the dates.

“Finding the ideal girlfriend on a blind date is more difficult than winning the lottery,” said Yang. “I didn’t refuse the dates because I didn’t want to disap­point my parents, but I really have no confidence in blind dates.”

Money, of course, is also a fac­tor in the dating sweepstakes. Nearly half of female respon­dents to the poll said they hoped to meet someone with a monthly income of between 8,000 yuan (US$1,165) and 10,000 yuan.

“I can’t remember how many blind dates I have had, but I do remember that many of the la­dies unabashedly asked about my salary,” said 28-year-old Andrew Liu. “Once I told them what I earn, their interest in me faded.”

Liu works in an advertise­ment company with a monthly income of 4,000 yuan and rents an apartment with a friend. The fact that he doesn’t own his own place also diminished his eligibility credentials on blind dates.

“He’s 28,” Liu’s father explained. “That is consid­ered late for marriage in our hometown. It’s not just me. His grandparents and uncles are also worried about him.”

Liu, like many young people, doesn’t share the older genera­tion’s belief that people should marry as soon as possible.

“Marriage is important, but not that important,” he said. “Life has many goals, like pursuing a career, traveling around the world and building a personal social life. But my parents just consider my views as nonsense.”

Liu said he plans to focus on his career in the next years and set the girlfriend problem aside. He said he is saving money for a down payment on a home.

During the holiday, “blind date” was one of the top search queries in cyberspace, and a song about how to deal with nagging family members be­came a hit. It describes the embarrassing situation of young people being bombarded with questions about their love life when they return home for Spring Festival.

There were also media reports that some enterprising young singles “rented” boyfriends or girlfriends for the holiday via online platforms, taking them home to forestall all the family pressure.

According to the Ministry of Civil Affairs, there are more than 140 million unmarried people in China, with people aged between 25 and 29 ac­counting for almost two-fifths of singles. While the divorce rate keeps rising, the number of marriages is declining.

Liu said he went on the dates arranged by his parents out of respect, but he resents the interference in his personal life.

“I want my life partner to share my attitude and zest for life, to want to explore the world with me,” said Liu. “However, my parents think marriage just means two people spend­ing their lives together. It up to me to run my life and no one should intervene.”

Hangzhou


 

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