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Wan LixinOpinion deputy editor of Shanghai Daily
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Woe when your lover is abroad
By Zhang Qian |
December 21, 2011, Wednesday
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Print Edition
Print Edition
IF it's difficult to manage long-distance love and marriage in China, it's a lot harder if one person is overseas. Just hopping on a plane to sort out misunderstandings isn't an option.
Cindy Cheng, a 27-year-old public relations assistant, is thinking about breaking up with her boyfriend who went to the United States for advanced studies last year. Cheng, a Hubei Province native, had managed to move to Shanghai where her boyfriend had been working, but he left shortly afterward. Due to US travel regulations and of course high airfare, her boyfriend hasn't been back to visit. Chen feels betrayed.
"I can't enjoy any benefits of having a boyfriend," Cheng says. "I have to work and live all by myself in this unfamiliar city. I don't have a close friend I can talk to when I am troubled and confused. A voice over the phone cannot make things better."
Valentine's Day and Christmas are sad times since Cheng doesn't have women companions.
Though she is happily married today, 30-year-old Rachel Lin remember how desperate she was when she heard from friends that her steady boyfriend of four years had several one-night stands while he was taking post-graduate courses in the UK four years ago.
"I was driven crazy and wanted to break up with him," Lin says, "but I loved him so much and he swore it only happened because he was lonely and living abroad - he promised he would never do it again when he was back home."
Convincing herself that it was natural for men to have problems with celibacy while living far from home, she took her boyfriend back after a big quarrel and accepted his marriage proposal.
Cindy Cheng, a 27-year-old public relations assistant, is thinking about breaking up with her boyfriend who went to the United States for advanced studies last year. Cheng, a Hubei Province native, had managed to move to Shanghai where her boyfriend had been working, but he left shortly afterward. Due to US travel regulations and of course high airfare, her boyfriend hasn't been back to visit. Chen feels betrayed.
"I can't enjoy any benefits of having a boyfriend," Cheng says. "I have to work and live all by myself in this unfamiliar city. I don't have a close friend I can talk to when I am troubled and confused. A voice over the phone cannot make things better."
Valentine's Day and Christmas are sad times since Cheng doesn't have women companions.
Though she is happily married today, 30-year-old Rachel Lin remember how desperate she was when she heard from friends that her steady boyfriend of four years had several one-night stands while he was taking post-graduate courses in the UK four years ago.
"I was driven crazy and wanted to break up with him," Lin says, "but I loved him so much and he swore it only happened because he was lonely and living abroad - he promised he would never do it again when he was back home."
Convincing herself that it was natural for men to have problems with celibacy while living far from home, she took her boyfriend back after a big quarrel and accepted his marriage proposal.
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