Humble pianist enjoys a warm homecoming
Print Edition
IN a simple dark red Chinese suit decorated with a scarf of similar color, 65-year-old Zhu Xiaomei stepped on stage, put her palms together expressing thanks, and started playing the 75-minute “Goldberg Variations.”
It was a poignant moment for Zhu, as it marked the first time the French pianist of Shanghai origin performed in her hometown since she left 60 years ago.
Works of Bach had been the only comfort for the humble pianist through many difficult times in her life, and the “Goldberg Variations,” which she played everyday for the past 35 years, pleased the 500-member audience at Shanghai Symphony Hall.
“‘Goldberg Variations’ is so rich, just like a person’s life,” says Zhu. “I can find all my joy and sorrows in the 30 chapters of the great piece.”
Born into a musical family in Shanghai, Zhu started playing the piano at 5 and was already talented enough to perform on TV by the age of 8. However, the advent of the “cultural revolution” (1966-76) suspended her pursuit of music during her teenage years.
Zhu often felt very critical of herself because of her “not good family history,” and her underconfidence at times still overshadows her today, she says. Playing Bach’s “Well-Tempered Clavier” secretly was the only comfort for Zhu in her years at a farm in northern China’s Hebei Province.
“I still kept my old piano from my mother’s apartment, and it saved my life. The piano accompanied me for years at the freezing farm without a heater. Even though some of the strings were already broken, it provided me the very limited joy in a difficult time,” says Zhu.
Like many young people in the 1980s, Zhu moved abroad to realize her dream shortly after the reform and open policy. She studied in the US first and then moved to France in 1985.
Zhu took various jobs as a housekeeper, cleaner and dishwasher while studying at the New England Conservatory of Music in Boston. It was during that most difficult time that she started her lifelong friendship with Bach’s “Goldberg Variations.”
Without her own apartment, Zhu lived with an American family and practiced on their piano.
“The family was not happy with my practicing, but they would keep silent when I played ‘Goldberg Variations,’” says Zhu. “It was amazing, and I suppose that was because of the special power of ‘Goldberg Variations’ in calming people down, including myself.”
Since that time, Zhu continued to practice “Goldberg Variations” every morning, like a Buddhist practicing meditation.
Music ‘part of my life’
“It is part of my life, just like eating, drinking and sleeping,” says Zhu.
Actually, there are not many other schedules in Zhu’s life apart from playing the piano, working, eating and sleeping. She never watches TV or uses instant communication tools. She seldom attends social occasions.
“I think whether one leads a sadhu-like life depends on how he or she sees it. I never take it as a bitter task to practice piano for hours, just like how some people are willing to spend hours for parties,” says Zhu. “A party is a more torture for me than practicing. Some of my friends joked that they would arrange a surprise party for me as punishment if needed.”
Zhu found Paris to be a lucky place for her, where many very kind people offered great help. A professor at the Conservatoire National Superieur de Musique Et de Danse de Pari offered her places for piano practice, while an old woman touched by her music provided her with a downtown apartment at very low rent. It was in Paris that Zhu gave her very first concert at 45 years old.
Taken in by the beautiful St-Germain-des-Pres church, Zhu was determined to have a concert for the first time. Regardless of the mockery from friends, she made it happen in St-Germain-des-Pres in 1994.
“I told myself that as long as one person came and was moved by my music, I would be much pleased,” says Zhu. “But more than 200 people came that night, filling the church, which injected me with much confidence that I always lacked.”
She has since performed in hundreds of concerts worldwide, with Bach’s “Goldberg Variations” always on the program list.
Zhu says she’ll never get bored with the piece because it is so demanding. She says it helps her perfect her art.
But Zhu is only satisfied with about three concerts among her more than 200 stage performances of “Goldberg Variations.” Those came on the very limited occasions, she says, when she could fully forget about herself and let the power of music flow directly to the audience.
Zhu was very cautious about adding new programs to her repertoire, as she needed two or three years to master a new piece in her way — to digest every note and recreate them with her fingers.
Zhu has rarely visited China in the past years, uncertain about the music environment here. She was quite nervous about the concerts in Shanghai, and wore her lucky dress, given to her by a friend for her first concert in Paris.
But the passion of the audiences at her two Shanghai concerts shocked her, and she felt guilty when learning some people paid more than 1,000 yuan (US$162) to scalpers for tickets to the sold-out event that originally cost 80 to 580 yuan.
“I am always afraid that I might have been over-evaluated,” says Zhu, reflecting that lingering lack of confidence. “I always told myself to spend more time on practicing than performing on stage.”
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