Making a date with thousands in search of that special someone
Print Edition
A BLIND date for tens of thousands. To a Westerner, this feels like something on the verge of insanity, given the average American’s aversion to even a single blind date.
And yet somehow it mostly seemed to work on Saturday at Shanghai Love and Marriage Fair. Despite the huge number of young men and women attending the weekend event, it all appeared to run smoothly. Participants gathered to meet as anxious mothers and fathers waited in the wings to find out whether their son or daughter had, just maybe, met that perfect match — or at least someone they might want to date.
Information cards containing certain data about participants — their occupation and salary, education level, height and whether or not they had hukou (permanent residence permit) — graced the walls all over the cavernous venue. There were some complaints, however, about lack of personal phone numbers and the fact that dating agencies charged big money to those wanting to gain additional information.
Events were held in rooms the size of hotel ballrooms, with a stage or scores of tables. Most of what transpired was a complete mystery to perhaps the only foreigner at the event. Interviews with three participants revealed they were there on their own accord, without undue pressure from mom and dad. One said there was a push but she also did want to go to see for herself.
That was how Nina Cai, 24, put it when asked point-blank if her parents had pressured into coming. One thing her widely smiling parents did do was push her enthusiastically into view of the foreign reporter, who had to explain that, no, he was not there to find a match but just to observe and write for the newspaper. Cai dutifully translated the apparently devastating news to her parents and said she would try to find potential matches herself.
No particular plan
Another participant, Wendy Wang, 27, had arrived with her mother half an hour earlier and had not yet partaken in any of the side events. This was her second matchmaking event after attending another big Shanghai festival last November, and she had no particular plan on how go find a guy.
“Maybe I’ll talk to the boy’s parents and that will give me a chance,” she said, perhaps having come up with a deviously ingenious path to a man’s heart. Or maybe not.
More methodical was Liu Wen, a 31-year-old with a plan to let her parents scout for potential mates while she also went on the hunt herself. “I am here to find a boyfriend,” she said matter-of-factly. “I want to take some opportunity here.”
Mostly looking awkward
And how will she do that? “Face to face talking at the tables is good,” she said, referring to an event that gives tables of nine or 10 people a chance to meet and talk for 10 minutes, before everyone is told to move to another table. On it goes for maybe an hour at a time, hundreds of singles talking, listening and mostly looking awkward.
The closest thing in the West is speed-dating events, usually attended by maybe 100 people. Research shows there may be something to the idea that they can hurry the process of meeting that special someone.
In fact, the 10 minutes given at the tables at the Shanghai event may be overly generous. A study in Edinburgh, Scotland, in 2006 showed that at a speed-dating event 45 percent of the women and 22 percent of the men made a decision within the first 30 seconds!
So why blather on for another nine and a half minutes? Let them pair up, exchange numbers and get to the next table.
In an hour, one could size up 60 potential mates, and that’s allowing for 30 seconds per table switch.
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