Gay people search web for ‘normal’ marriages
Print Edition
When Xiaoxiong and her lesbian lover wanted to hide their relationship from their parents, they decided to find men willing to marry them.
They had a specific type in mind: Gay.
Searching out suitors for such a marriage of convenience proved difficult, so she created an online matchmaking forum to help others like her conform with familial and societal pressures in China, where same-sex marriage is not legal.
“I was so relieved that there was a way to please my parents without getting trapped in a marriage with some poor straight man,” said Xiaoxiong, a 35-year-old self-described tomboy.
She lives with her partner, Xiaojing, 36, their dog and two cats in Shenyang, the capital of northeastern Liaoning Province.
But during holidays and special occasions, they separate to be with their husbands’ families, pretending to be traditional wives.
Homosexuality was classified as a mental illness in China until 2001 and a crime until 1997.
About 90 percent of 20 million gay men in China are married to women who are usually straight and do not initially know their husband’s real sexual orientation, according to a Qingdao University study in 2012. The study did not look at lesbians’ behavior.
However, gay men and women are increasingly marrying one another in so-called cooperative marriages.
There are no estimates on the number of such marriages, but several websites dedicated to them have sprung up in recent years.
The largest one, Chinagayles.com, says it has more than 400,000 users and facilitated more than 50,000 cooperative marriages in the past 12 years.
In 2012, Xiaoxiong married a high-school maths teacher 10 years her senior.
Within weeks of Xiaoxiong’s wedding ceremony, Xiaojing, her partner for eight years, had also wed a gay man.
Xiaoxiong and Xiaojing believe that their families probably know the truth about their relationship, but nobody wants to acknowledge the obvious.
“We don’t wish for much,” said Xiaoxiong. “When we are home, when we are sitting side by side, we just feel so peaceful and happy.”
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