鈥楳arried at First Sight:鈥 How TV is making mockery of marriage
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Confession: I binge-watched the television program 鈥淢arried at First Sight.鈥 Congratulations if you鈥檝e avoided it.
The gist of the show is in the title: Complete strangers get married without knowing anything about each other. They鈥檙e matched by so-called 鈥渆xperts鈥 based on God knows what criteria and see each other for the first time at the altar. They swap vows, go on a honeymoon and spend two months living together. It gets worse. There鈥檚 a get-out clause: If after eight weeks the couples can鈥檛 handle being married, they divorce. In season 13, all but one couple did exactly that and at least two participants went into therapy.
The series got millions of viewers per episode, all eager to see things go wrong between people they don鈥檛 know. Or maybe that鈥檚 just me. And here鈥檚 why: I find the whole thing offensive. What moron gets married at first sight? Or more to the point, how attention seeking, fame hungry and desperate does someone need to be?
Admittedly, I鈥檓 on a high horse about a show I devoured, but let鈥檚 put that down to a nasty cold and thorough research. Seriously, isn鈥檛 this concept making a mockery of marriage?
I鈥檓 not religious. I don鈥檛 fear divine intervention if my marriage doesn鈥檛 work out, nor do I believe couples should stay together if things get toxic. Not all relationships survive, and that鈥檚 OK. However, I do believe marriage is hard and you sign up to that when you say 鈥測es.鈥 Going into a lifelong commitment with an exit plan is gross.
Me and Shane were together for six years before he proposed, and we鈥檇 been friends for three before dating. I knew what I was getting into, and I accepted his hand in marriage wholeheartedly. It hasn鈥檛 always been easy, because being in any meaningful relationship isn鈥檛. But do I love that man more than anything? Absolutely. Shane is the kindest, funniest and most intelligent human I鈥檝e ever known. I would die for him, as he would for me. That鈥檚 love. And if love isn鈥檛 the foundation of your marriage, you鈥檙e building a marriage on quicksand.
I hear you. What about arranged marriage? While not for me, I do understand they stem from cultural values that have been practiced for generations. Families are deeply involved in the process, and there鈥檚 often a courtship period. 鈥淢arried at First Sight鈥 is a different ball game. The show prioritizes entertainment over ethics. Families have no say in the pairing, and couples meet, marry and navigate their relationship to a deadline.
Don鈥檛 dismiss this spectacle as mere entertainment. Television shapes public opinion. 鈥淢arried at First Sight鈥 focuses on quick promises and a whirlwind romance. It sells itself as a social experiment, but it鈥檚 a charade masked as matchmaking. And it鈥檚 dangerous.
鈥淢arried at First Sight鈥 creates unrealistic expectations and trivializes the complexity of marriage. It focuses on sensationalism and distorts genuine emotion and commitment. Not to mention the la-la land these people live in. Champagne flows, the rent is free, there are endless dates, and a dedicated team to guide you through wedlock. Does any of that ring even remotely true of your life? It doesn鈥檛 of mine.
Why am I so angry about this?
As a loving wife who knows the turbulence of an enduring partnership, I鈥檓 saddened by the circus this program makes of marriage. Can two people be matched based on their beliefs, desires and values? Sure. Can you be attracted to someone you鈥檝e just met? 100 percent. But to take a vow with a complete stranger is total madness. Moreover, it undermines the real work relationships require. Shane annoys me on the regular, as do I him. But we have made a solemn promise to one another. There is zero chance of me leaving because I know my person and life is infinitely better because of him.
Let me be clear, I am not anti-divorce. That鈥檚 not what this is about. I am, however, pro-sanity, and 鈥淢arried at First Sight鈥 is the most insane thing I鈥檝e ever seen.
With that said, the new season is available on Netflix, and I might just say: 鈥淚 do.鈥
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