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March 14, 2014

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Focus on marriage cost misses the point: Love

A NEW survey suggests that a man in Shanghai needs to amass a fortune of at least 2 million yuan (US$325,388) if he decides to tie the knot and settle down in the metropolis of 24 million people.

However, Shanghai only ranks the 3rd after Shenzhen, Guangdong Province, which ranks first at 2.08 million yuan, and Beijing at 2.02 million yuan.

The informal but widespread 50-city ranking list by Internet users asked the question: How much does a wife cost?

According to the self-reporting survey online, a bridegroom in a major city such as Shanghai would spend the most on the wedding ceremony and banquet, diamond rings, an overseas honeymoon, and, most important, housing.

The bride’s family traditionally provides a car and furnishes the home as a kind of dowry.

Obviously, most of the young men in Shanghai cannot afford such a high amount or even a small portion. So they rely heavily on their parents’ generosity and bank loans.

Many have to pay mortgage installments over 30 years while their parents may have emptied their savings accounts to provide a substantial down payment to reduce the amount owed.

In exchange, they get an apartment of around 80 square meters near the Middle Ring Road and a vehicle in the medium price range. They may hold the wedding at a five-star hotel in need of refurbishing, while the bride shows off her 1-carat diamond ring to the buzzing guests. Then they may fly off to Maldives for a week.

There is nothing new here but it’s all expensive and barely affordable.

Marriage is a bond between two people in love. Expensive trappings cannot amplify that love, though it is said that expensive and elaborate weddings do make people feel tied up and guilty about backing out later. After all, everyone has invested so much in the marriage.

As a matter of fact, registering a marriage at a civil affairs office doesn’t cost a penny.  

A friend of mine once told me she’d rather win her happiness through a joint effort with her future beloved than marry a millionaire. Young couples may start their own family with limited possessions but high expectations. At that stage, material wealth should not be the overwhelming focus.

Working hard with your beloved shoulder by shoulder for a better life could be the happiest times in your life.




 

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