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Seeing ourselves in eyes of others

SOMETIME back, I was sitting in an expensive restaurant in Shibuya, Tokyo. It was well patronized by the locals.

I observed something unusual - all the ladies (young, mature and gray-haired) were carrying a certain French-branded bag, except my wife.

It occurred to me that the size of the bag or its purpose did not matter, so long as it was THAT brand. You do not see such a phenomena elsewhere - a homogeneous group with such conformist social habits.

I remarked to my wife, "A fashion parade for that brand?" To me, those bags were nothing special - more like jiebao (street bag) as Wan Lixin mentioned in his article (Shanghai Daily, February 18).

Maybe I wasn't keeping with fashion! The bags, manufactured using high-quality unscratchable plastic, with natural leather trimmings, were selling at outrageous prices around the world. Even the prints on the bags, generally brown, looked like potato-printing designs that we did as kids in kindergarten.

One reason for this behavior is that it boosts the ladies' self-esteem and they feel good about it. They are more concerned with having other people view them favorably.

One theme of human beings' long road in life is social acceptance - making good impressions on other people and maintaining a good reputation.

However, this concern with image can sometimes lead to risky behavior that can cause illness, injury or even death. Young people take up smoking to look cool and sophisticated, or starve themselves to look like models.

Others have unprotected sex, drive fast without seat belts, participate in gang fights, drink and drive.

All these risks are taken to gain social acceptance, a stronger and more potent motive than the desire to stay healthy and alive. My social behavior studies student Stephanie would attend class in long sleeves and pants to cover her tattoos. Her aim is to cover that part of her painful unthinking adolescence from view in the adult world.

Now let's return to Wan's two cleaning ladies. I think they should take comfort in the fact that their daughters' spendthrift habits are of a less dangerous kind.

What the cleaners can do is to ask their daughters to think through these two questions whenever there's an urge to splurge on an impulse purchase: Do I need it? Is it necessary?

I have been thinking of buying one of those new age nano-technology tennis rackets that many of my friends use, or a hand-me-downs from my two sons. It's been three months now. I'm leaning toward the old racket.

(The author is a consultant based in Singapore. His email: teesstan@starhub.net.sg)




 

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