Death Cafes spring up all around the world
Print Edition
It can be tough to get a conversation going if you want to talk about the late stages of dementia, your last will and testament or the recent passing of your mother.
“When you’re at a cocktail party and you lead off by saying, ‘What do you think about death?’ it’ll be, ‘C’mon, man, it’s a party! Chill out!’ says Len Belzer, a retired radio host from Manhattan.
Belzer is among a growing number of people around the world who are interested enough in death to gather in small groups to talk about it.
The gatherings, known as Death Cafes, provide places where death can be discussed comfortably, without fear of violating taboos or being mocked for bringing up the subject.
Organizers say there’s no agenda other than conversation — and that talking about death can help people enrich their lives.
“Most people walking down the street, they’re terrified of death,” said Jane Hughes Gignoux, 83, an author who leads Death Cafe gatherings at her Manhattan apartment. “But if you think of death as part of life and let go of the fear, you think more about living your life well.”
Jon Underwood, who organized the first Death Cafe in London two years ago, said he was inspired by death discussions pioneered by Bernard Crettaz, a Swiss sociologist. The first Death Cafe in the US was held in Columbus, Ohio, last year, and “It’s just kind of snowballed,” he said.
Nearly 300 Death Cafes have been held in the US, Britain, Canada, Australia, Italy, Brazil and other countries, he said.
Audrey Pellicano, 60, a Death Cafe facilitator, said: “We don’t deal with loss. We know how to acquire things, not how to give them up. We have no idea how to leave this life and everything we’ve got.”
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