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August 25, 2015

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Home » City specials » Hangzhou

Busty matchmaking event draws criticism

By Wu Huixin | August 25, 2015, Tuesday | Print Edition

A recent matchmaking event in a Hangzhou park attracted more than 10,000 lonely hearts hoping to find some interesting dating prospects.

However, the gathering, organized by Langlanglang Water Park, drew rebukes from online social networking chatter after it was revealed that single women who attended were asked not to wear makeup and were told to let single men measure their chests.

“It really insulted women. I can understand removing makeup because heavy makeup can conceal things,” said Chen Lin, 31, a government white-collar worker. “But chest measurements? That went too far.”

Lu Mingmei, 27, another civil servant said, “It was unfair. Maybe men should be told to reveal how many houses and cars they have before going on a blind date.”

Outrageous though they may have been, the conditions imposed at the event point to the fact that women are at a disadvantage in the marriage game in Hangzhou. Single women in the city outnumber available men. According to census figures, in China every year there are 1.2 million more men than women reaching marrying age, and it is calculated that by 2020 there will be estimated 24 million “leftover men” in the country.

The average age when women in the city marry is 28, according to the Hangzhou Civil Affairs Bureau. That’s older than in the past, when many women married when they reached the legal age of 20. The older a woman gets, the harder it often is to find an acceptable mate.

“Unlike in the past, when Chinese women bowed to parents’ wishes that they marry, sometimes to people they didn’t love, today’s modern woman rejects all that,” said Chen. “We get married only if we find true love.”

Lu agreed.

“I am happy living as a single,” she said. “I don’t want to suffer the effects of a half-hearted marriage.”

Later marriages may be caused, in part, by the increasing number of women receiving university educations. That experience tends to focus them on personal development more than traditional obedience and sacrifice.

The number of Hangzhou women in college exceeded men for the first time in 2013, according to the Hangzhou Women’s Federation. Many women go on to graduate degree programs, extending their study years.

“Women are learning that they can rely on themselves and don’t have to depend on a husband for support,” said Jessie Jiang, a 27-year-old industrial designer. “We can earn our own incomes.”

Women in China now make up 46 percent of the workforce, and 73 percent of women find jobs, according to Bain Capital, a global alternative investment firm. Those figures are higher than in some developed countries.

“In our hospital, many female doctors have higher incomes than some of the men who work here,” said Fang Yi, a personnel clerk in a local hospital.

“They can buy houses and cars without male financial support. They can turn up their noses at lesser men and do not have to marry against their better instincts.”

Many single women simply like the freedom of no attachments.

“The single life is very satisfying,” said Jiang, who likes to go on solo road trips around China. “It is the best period of my life to improve myself.”

In all this, there is a tinge of irritation about the way Chinese men behave.

To some single women, too many Chinese males suffer from what is known as “straight man cancer,” a buzzword referring to men who disrespect or belittle women.

“That type of man always thinks he is superior and that the role of women is to do housework and have babies,” said Marian Zhang, a single white-collar worker in a software company.

For their part, some men think liberated women are too picky and demanding.

“They want men to have a house and a car before they will agree to get married,” said Joseph He, a worker in a state-owned company. “Our country has preached gender equality for a long time, so why are men at such a disadvantage in the marriage market?”

Zhang takes umbrage at such views.

“Once women get married, they have to subvert their careers to housework,” she said. “A house and a car, to some degree, compensate the sacrifice a woman has to make. If marriage is going to lower my lifestyle, then why get married?”

Still, both Zhang and He admit that it’s a numbers game that gives the edge to single men.

“Many young women are under pressure from parents to get married young and have children,” Zhang said. “The problem with that approach is it can sometimes lead to women going into loveless marriages. Just like fast food, it’s here one minute and gone the next.”

Hangzhou


 

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