TWENTY years ago, as bewildering winds of openness and change were sweeping China, Hangzhou opened what was believed to be the country's first crisis telephone hotline for adolescents.

In those days there were youth troubles of love, study and philosophy and questions of adjusting to rapid social change and expectations.

Today, those problems persist - adolescence is a difficult time everywhere in the world - but there are new and more complicated problems facing youth today.

Experts cite troubling issues such as extreme pressure to excel in school, dangers of Internet and cell phone addiction, alienation, loneliness and depression, premature sexual activity, pregnancy and violence.

Parents themselves are under pressure to succeed, to make money and to see that their children succeed; their anxieties are communicated to children. A rising divorce rate means children may lack stable families. Children from one-child families face a whole set of issues and expectations. The list goes on.

In 1990, Hangzhou established its 24-hour crisis hotline for adolescents: 12355.

Over 20 years the government volunteer organization has received nearly 110,000 calls reflecting changing times. They spent 216,000 hours on the phone and around 248,000 hours in face-to-face consultation.

Director Song Jian'nan and psychology counsellors Zhang Zude, Zheng Ping and An Caixiu discuss some issues and positive coping methods.

Study pressure

Chinese parents have always required kids to study hard and do well, but these days the pressure is much worse, parents themselves are under pressure and the cost of education is rising sharply.

It's not just school fees and tuition. Parents pay for special tutoring and enrichment classes, like painting or playing a musical instrument. They buy nutrients to help kids' mental performance.

When a child is born, parents start saving for his or her future study abroad or at home. They may buy an expensive house near a coveted top school so their child can attend.

"Financial pressure on parents is easily passed on to children," says Song. "Instead of giving love and care, they communicate stress. They may hurl words like, 'I spent so much on your study. How can you disappoint us with such a bad score'?"

Scolding is cruel and unfair and may make kids reject education.

Suggestion:

All children want to do well, but if there's too much expectation, they get frustrated and may seek achievement and recognition in other ways, such as cyber games, unhealthy behavior, being a tough guy.

Children have different intelligence and aptitudes. Don't blame or punish a child for a low score if she or he has done their best. Affirm their achievement, discuss improvement and urge them to try harder.

Net addiction

This didn't exist 20 years ago, but it is widespread and many parents call it their No. 1 worry. Cell phone dependence is linked. Kids withdraw from the real world and healthy relationships.

One desperate mother says her 16-year-old son surfed the Internet all the time and accessed it from his cell phone in class. Mom canceled the Internet connection and took away the phone.

The boy smashed dishes and refused to go to school, saying he would be mocked by his peers and unable to talk about cyber games, a favorite topic.

Suggestion:

"Blocking" access is a common parental response, but it's counterproductive.

"All addiction is rooted in pleasure," says counsellor Zheng. "People gain pleasure where they can and if kids don't get warmth and affection at home or school, they turn to something else to soothe themselves."

Parents should spend more time with their children and find other things for them to enjoy, such as sports, travel, reading, music - there must be something.

Loneliness and depression

As most people live in flats, there is less general interaction. Because of the family planning policy, many children lack siblings, cousins, uncles and aunts. Parents are often at work, leaving children home alone to watch TV or surf the Internet. Kids get lonely.

Their lives are gray and repetitive: school, study, sleep, eat, over and over. It's depressing. Kids express their emotions more online, less in the real world. They interact less and their conversational and social skills deteriorate.

Suggestion:

Give children a more varied and interesting life. Home is not just for study. Outdoors activity promotes a healthy attitude.

Puppy love, early pregnancy

Twenty years ago, puppy love was shameful, so it was kept secret. It usually happened in middle school.

Today it's very different and hotline counsellors say more kids in primary schools get crushes. Pupils are ashamed if they don't have a boyfriend or girlfriend.

"Adolescents compare everything - clothing, cell phones, family cars and relationships," says director Song.

With more and more puppy love, early pregnancy is not rare, experts say. A couple of months after summer vacation (when boys and girls get together), the hotline starts to get calls about pregnancy and adoption.

Suggestion:

"Surveys suggest that children from single-parent families are more likely to fall in puppy love and even get involved sexually," says counsellor Zhang. "Lack of a good family life leads kids to hunt for love and warmth outside the family."

To show they care, parents must communicate with children, but they should always be positive and talk about things kids like, pop music, sports, movies. Never define this attraction to the opposite sex as love.

Crime, suicide and violence

The rising rate of suicides among college students clearly indicates that many lead troubled lives. Pressure from grade school and high school continues in college.

Last year, a young highly educated couple in Hangzhou nearly ended their lives over a laptop. The woman has a PhD and the man a master's degree.

They forgot a laptop on a bus, realized it when they got off, quarreled and the woman slapped the man. He immediately threw himself into the nearby river. The woman then tried to drown herself. Both were rescued.

The case generated a heated discussion; many say they wasted their family's efforts to educate them and were a social disappointment.

Director Song says overly high expectations from family and society are a major problem contributing to depression and other mental problems, resulting in disturbed behavior. Parental pushing and over-expectation, coupled with smothering and over-protection can lead to personality problems in children.

Psychologists say two kinds of young people are vulnerable to depression: those with high education and those in low-level vocational schools. "The former is overestimated and the latter is underestimated," says Song.

Suggestion:

Reduce the study pressure, ease off, don't evaluate children by their test scores. Encourage them to be responsible, useful and optimistic. Home life should be relaxed and cheerful.

Parents these days fight and quarrel less and there's less physical violence at home. But emotional abuse deeply wounds children and hurts more than a slap in the face.

Ambiguous gender identity

A single mother called to complain her son was "feminized" and psychologists discovered that the woman routinely complained that "men are no good," not considering that her son would be a man.

Counsellors say they receive many such calls from single mothers.

Intact families also have problems. Song says family structure has changed from 2+1 (two parents and one child) to 4+2+1 (four grandparents, two parents and one child). This means a child has six parents in close contact and many have different, conflicting opinions on child rearing.

This makes children irresolute and hesitant to make decisions. They choose the opinions that they like and the easier options. They will come to get used to choosing the lighter jobs in life, the easy way.

Suggestion:

To help little boys develop their masculinity, single mothers should have positive male role models around to interact with their sons, talking with them and playing sport with them.

Big families should get together from time to time and sort out disagreements so children don't get conflicting signals.

Hotline: 0571-12355