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Mom and dad at matchmaking fair
July 3, 2012, Tuesday
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IT'S 37 degrees Celsius but 60-year-old Liu Shuifa keeps standing in the sun. One hand holds a fan, another holds a towel to wipe sweat from his face. He adjusts his glasses to better read all the papers hung on trees, pasted on walls or put on the ground.
"High school teacher, 30, unmarried because of busy work; store owner, pig zodiac, looking for someone who can assist in business; master's degree student, height 170cm ..." Liu reads about all the women whose parents have posted their particulars at this dating fair for parents.
Liu is looking for a wife for his son, a 32-year-old company manager. He jots down notes on a few prospects.
This is his first time at the blind date fair filled with parents of single children, all anxious to see their child married, no longer single, pitied, looked down upon or considered unwell. Women aged over 30 are frquently known as "leftovers," referring to the stale, second-rate food left on a plate after all the good food has been eaten. Men at age 30 are not at such a disadvantage but the clock is running for everyone on starting a family.
Leftovers are often highly educated and well paid people who haven't found a mate and are too embarrassed to show up at the park alone. There are other reasons, shyness, temperament or appearance.
"My son is tall, handsome and doing well at work, he is single still because he hasn't met the right person," Liu explains to nearby parents why his "old" son is still single.
But he doesn't need to explain - most of the singles advertised by parents are around 30, women and men.
The blind date fair is held twice a month at Yuanyuan Folk Park, Hangzhou, and there's always a big crowd in summer. The fair last Saturday drew almost 1,000 middle-aged and elderly people, parents and grandparents of young men and women who according to Chinese tradition must get married soon. Hangzhou was one of the first cities to organize such bllind date fairs for parents in a big way.
Parents like Liu are busy trying to identify a good prospect worthy of a blind date with their child.
At this event parents swarmed all over the park, posting their children's pictures, profiles and other information on walls, trees and every available surface. They read other posters, chat with other parents, ask for more information and possibly exchange phone numbers.
Many are all dressed up, looking their best to make a good impression about their son's or daughter's family. Freshly coiffed hair, a pearl necklace, a clean shave and a good suit.
Here's a typical exchange. A parent notes the details of young people considered acceptable, then he or she calls the prospective date's parents. If both parties agree, the young people chat online. If it goes well, the next stage is a blind date.
Or parents may strike up a conversation and exchange details about their children, including career, prospects, hobbies and contacts.
But before all that, the parents check each other out, making sure that another parent is fit to be their own child's future in-law.
Though most of the young people are leftovers, it's considered bad taste to mention a child's advancing age.
"My daughter was born in 1979. How about your son?" asks one mother. "My son's zodiac sign is a dog. How about your daughter's sign?" one father says.
If a parent admits indirectly that their son or daughter is already 35, he or she usually looks abashed and hastens to add that the child is physically and mentally sound.
Women always take photos of their daughters and fathers always say whether their son or daughter has or will have a house and car - those are the rules. Pretty women financially secure men.
"It is definitely not romantic for young people to talk about money and that's why we parents do the work," Qiu Jingfen, mother of a 27-year-old woman, says.
"Marriage is pragmatic, and it will be tragic if my daughter quarrels with her husband over money in the future," she adds.
There's nothing romantic about this blind date fair. Besides directly or indirectly inquiring about financial status, parents also inquire about signs of the Chinese zodiac, as they are considered important to compatibility. Some two signs are compatible and make for a happy marriage and some should never wed. Roosters and dogs fight so people with those signs shouldn't marry; horses pair well with sheep; mice go well with dragons.
Some parents also ask for constellations, because their children believe in horoscopes.
"This is more like a market," says 29-year-old Mei Yun, one of the few young faces. She went with her mother.
"I compare this whole thing to a buyer's market; men are the buyers and women are the goods," she says. "It's the truth that men are more valuable on the market."
Nevertheless, Mei decided to attend because she just broke off with her boyfriend and she's nearly 30.
The parents of most young men also appear to hold their heads high, they're a little prouder than the parents of unfortunate single women.
"I've been coming here for a year, and I can easily spot parents of boys and parents of girls because the boys' parents act superior," says Fang Xiaoying, looking for a mate for her daughter.
The blind date fair was first held in 2006; more than 100,000 people have attended and more than 1,000 couples have wed through their parents' efforts to find them a blind date.
"High school teacher, 30, unmarried because of busy work; store owner, pig zodiac, looking for someone who can assist in business; master's degree student, height 170cm ..." Liu reads about all the women whose parents have posted their particulars at this dating fair for parents.
Liu is looking for a wife for his son, a 32-year-old company manager. He jots down notes on a few prospects.
This is his first time at the blind date fair filled with parents of single children, all anxious to see their child married, no longer single, pitied, looked down upon or considered unwell. Women aged over 30 are frquently known as "leftovers," referring to the stale, second-rate food left on a plate after all the good food has been eaten. Men at age 30 are not at such a disadvantage but the clock is running for everyone on starting a family.
Leftovers are often highly educated and well paid people who haven't found a mate and are too embarrassed to show up at the park alone. There are other reasons, shyness, temperament or appearance.
"My son is tall, handsome and doing well at work, he is single still because he hasn't met the right person," Liu explains to nearby parents why his "old" son is still single.
But he doesn't need to explain - most of the singles advertised by parents are around 30, women and men.
The blind date fair is held twice a month at Yuanyuan Folk Park, Hangzhou, and there's always a big crowd in summer. The fair last Saturday drew almost 1,000 middle-aged and elderly people, parents and grandparents of young men and women who according to Chinese tradition must get married soon. Hangzhou was one of the first cities to organize such bllind date fairs for parents in a big way.
Parents like Liu are busy trying to identify a good prospect worthy of a blind date with their child.
At this event parents swarmed all over the park, posting their children's pictures, profiles and other information on walls, trees and every available surface. They read other posters, chat with other parents, ask for more information and possibly exchange phone numbers.
Many are all dressed up, looking their best to make a good impression about their son's or daughter's family. Freshly coiffed hair, a pearl necklace, a clean shave and a good suit.
Here's a typical exchange. A parent notes the details of young people considered acceptable, then he or she calls the prospective date's parents. If both parties agree, the young people chat online. If it goes well, the next stage is a blind date.
Or parents may strike up a conversation and exchange details about their children, including career, prospects, hobbies and contacts.
But before all that, the parents check each other out, making sure that another parent is fit to be their own child's future in-law.
Though most of the young people are leftovers, it's considered bad taste to mention a child's advancing age.
"My daughter was born in 1979. How about your son?" asks one mother. "My son's zodiac sign is a dog. How about your daughter's sign?" one father says.
If a parent admits indirectly that their son or daughter is already 35, he or she usually looks abashed and hastens to add that the child is physically and mentally sound.
Women always take photos of their daughters and fathers always say whether their son or daughter has or will have a house and car - those are the rules. Pretty women financially secure men.
"It is definitely not romantic for young people to talk about money and that's why we parents do the work," Qiu Jingfen, mother of a 27-year-old woman, says.
"Marriage is pragmatic, and it will be tragic if my daughter quarrels with her husband over money in the future," she adds.
There's nothing romantic about this blind date fair. Besides directly or indirectly inquiring about financial status, parents also inquire about signs of the Chinese zodiac, as they are considered important to compatibility. Some two signs are compatible and make for a happy marriage and some should never wed. Roosters and dogs fight so people with those signs shouldn't marry; horses pair well with sheep; mice go well with dragons.
Some parents also ask for constellations, because their children believe in horoscopes.
"This is more like a market," says 29-year-old Mei Yun, one of the few young faces. She went with her mother.
"I compare this whole thing to a buyer's market; men are the buyers and women are the goods," she says. "It's the truth that men are more valuable on the market."
Nevertheless, Mei decided to attend because she just broke off with her boyfriend and she's nearly 30.
The parents of most young men also appear to hold their heads high, they're a little prouder than the parents of unfortunate single women.
"I've been coming here for a year, and I can easily spot parents of boys and parents of girls because the boys' parents act superior," says Fang Xiaoying, looking for a mate for her daughter.
The blind date fair was first held in 2006; more than 100,000 people have attended and more than 1,000 couples have wed through their parents' efforts to find them a blind date.
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