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March 14, 2014

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HomeCity specialsHangzhou

Retired electrician sparks love as matchmaker

AT age 68, Yao Bolin has become an expert in rewiring people’s love lives.

Yao, an electrician before he retired, is a late-blooming matchmaker in Yuhang District whose efforts led to the marriages of 48 couples during the past three years. In the first half of this year, eight couples that he helped connect are scheduled to be married.

Yao’s fame has spread to such an extent that many singles (and sometimes their parents) flock to his house or call him begging to be introduced to a suitable boyfriend or girlfriend. He said he does it for free.

“I never charge a dime for matchmaking. Introducing single girls and boys to each other is a good thing. Since I am not fond of playing cards and mahjong like other retirees, matchmaking has become my hobby in my life after retirement,” Yao said.

His life as a matchmaker began in 2011 when he promised an old friend to look for a suitable woman for his single grandson. The kind-hearted Yao finally found a girl in Lin’an County and introduced her to the man. Unexpectedly, the two young people fell in love at first sight and eventually got married.

The first-time success inspired Yao to continue his new hobby.

Each weekday, he drives a small moped around Yuhang District, chats with local people, asks them whether there are singles they know about and collects every piece of information he considers useful.

He now has two notebooks densely filled with his notes about the gender, age, address, work unit and requirement for choosing Mr or Mrs Right of every single person listed. Once he senses that two people might be a match for each other based on the information, he tries to arrange a blind date for them.

Yao phones the man and woman and informs them of the address and time for the date, usually on a weekend. Once there, he introduces the two singles to each other and walks away.

“They would feel embarrassed if I were there. Privacy is needed,” he said.

The blind date doesn’t mean Yao’s work is finished. If the two people form a couple but encounter problems along the way, Yao makes himself available to mediate.

Yao’s reputation not only draws strangers, but also old friends and acquaintances. Yao said as a responsible matchmaker, he visits the home of every “client” to acquaint himself with the single person.

“Matchmaking is not that easy. I have to find out what the single person’s own desires are, since I know some parents secretly entreat me to look for a match for their sons or daughters without the permission of their children. Given that in fact some young men and women are averse to blind dates, I have to verify what they want,” Yao explained.

In order to make his matchmaking work more convenient, Yao bought a new moped at the beginning of the year.

“When one is charging, the other can be driven, which makes my work more effective,” Yao said.

Last year, a pair of lovers in Tonglu County who had met through Yao fought over trifles before their wedding ceremony. Yao went to Tonglu, about two hours’ way by road, to help sort things out and paid all his own transportation costs.

“I said I never charge a dime,” Yao emphasized.

The money and energy he puts into matchmaking has caused some objections from his family.

“They primarily worry about my health, because I have hypertension and hyperglycemia, but I love matchmaking and feel happy if people get married with my help,” Yao said.

With all the experience he has gained in the past three years, Yao said he now has more insight into the marriage market in Hangzhou.

“The number local single women in Hangzhou surpasses the number of local single men because women from other cities and provinces marry Hangzhou men, while local women are unwilling to marry men from other cities,” Yao said.

“Nonetheless, Hangzhou’s ‘leftover ladies’ are mostly excellent women. But the reason they stay unmarried is because of their picky character,” Yao added. “Leftover” is a popular term in China for women in their late 20s or older and men in their early 30s or older who remain unmarried.

Yao said that “‘Leftover ladies’ should lower the bar for choosing Mr Right. Don’t always look for gao fu shuai.” The phrase means single men who are “tall, rich and handsome.”

As to “leftover” men, Yao thinks they have joined the good-looks club — a buzzword that refers to people who prefer beauties to average-looking people. His advice is same — lower the bar.

Yao also has an opinion about the relationship between marriage and the housing market. Turns out, matchmaking can have a big effect on the economy.

“Every son-in-law is ordered by his wife’s family to purchase an apartment before getting married, which in turn causes the demand for houses to exceed the supply. They increase Hangzhou’s housing prices.”

Yao disclosed that his daughter-in-law and son got married with the help of his matchmaking years ago. And Yao’s own marriage started with a blind date. But Yao said he won’t arrange blind dates for his grandchildren since the young generation has a totally different concept of marriage.

To catch up with the latest trends of the young, Yao tunes in to currently fashionable Chinese blind date shows on TV and pays attention to constellation.


 

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