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A Sino-German romance dispels bad vibes about marriage
By Lu Xiaofeng and Xu Wei |
August 30, 2010, Monday
|
Print Edition
Print Edition
TWO people who once lost faith in the institution of marriage have bridged a cultural gap to rediscover wedded bliss.
"Destiny brought us together," said Germany-born Norbert Korsten of his Chinese wife Xu Lili.
Well, there was indeed a bit of chance in their first encounter.
Back in 2002, Xu and two of her friends often stopped by a pub to drink and chat. Every time they were there, they noticed a foreigner sitting quietly by himself in a corner.
Finally, one day, their curiosity got the best of them. They decided to play a small board game and whoever lost had to go up and say hello to the foreigner and find out who he was.
Xu was the loser that night but the winner in life.
She nervously approached Korsten because she had never talked to a foreigner before. But dread soon turned to joy, and the two became friends.
They both still remember the background music playing in the pub when they met °?- Leo Koo's song "How I Wish." Although Korsten doesn't know a word of the Chinese song, he can accompany the melody when Xu is singing it.
At the time, Korsten worked for Shanghai Volkswagen in Anting Town as a manager of the Polo model production line. He was sent to Shanghai in May, 2001, on what was to be a three-month assignment. But every time he was due to return to Germany, something came up at the factory and his departure was postponed.
He used to sit in the pub enjoying a quiet drink and wishing he were home when suddenly Xu walked into his life. His homesickness ended abruptly.
"I never expected that my three-month trip to China would evolve into a nine-year stay." Korsten said, with a satisfied grin.
To be sure, it wasn't love at first sight. When they met, Xu was recovering from the end of a bad marriage, and Korsten, too, was nursing the aftermath of a divorce.
What brought them together was sharing their stories of disillusioned love and the grief of failed marriages.
In May, 2003, Korsten's assignment in Anting was completed, and Volkswagen said he would be sent back to Germany.
Friends who viewed their romance as a short fling were aghast to hear that Korsten had proposed marriage to Xu.
"If you are willing, marry me," Korsten's said to Xu, who was as surprised as anyone.
Although she was moved by Korsten's frankness and tenderness, Xu said she was afraid to commit to marriage again. But after a three-month trip to Germany to meet his parents and experience a bit of his culture, her anxiety ended and her mind was made up.
"This is the last time I place my trust in marriage," she said.
The couple got married in the small town of Schlitz near Frankfurt. Xu was the first foreigner ever married in the town. Even there the difference in cultures created a snafu.
The marriage registration required that both parties understand what was said during the ceremony. Korsten had some difficulties but finally found a Chinese girl who could interpret all the legal language for Xu.
About one year ago, Korsten changed his job and went to work for ThyssenKrupp System Engineering, headquartered in Pudong. They rented a house in Pudong for half a year but eventually moved back to Anting.
"We have lived in Anting for eight years," Xu explains. "What attracts us here are the modern, tranquil environment and the honesty and hospitality of local people."
The couple has a five-year-old child.
At the end of July, Xu and Korsten held a party at an Anting restaurant to celebrate their seventh wedding anniversary. More than 30 friends attended.
One of the gifts they received at the party was a tee shirt emblazoned with a lucky clover, the numeral 7, the national flags of Germany and China, and the signatures of all their friends.
"We were fortunate enough to meet, and I believe that we will remain happily married to a ripe old age," Xu said.
"Destiny brought us together," said Germany-born Norbert Korsten of his Chinese wife Xu Lili.
Well, there was indeed a bit of chance in their first encounter.
Back in 2002, Xu and two of her friends often stopped by a pub to drink and chat. Every time they were there, they noticed a foreigner sitting quietly by himself in a corner.
Finally, one day, their curiosity got the best of them. They decided to play a small board game and whoever lost had to go up and say hello to the foreigner and find out who he was.
Xu was the loser that night but the winner in life.
She nervously approached Korsten because she had never talked to a foreigner before. But dread soon turned to joy, and the two became friends.
They both still remember the background music playing in the pub when they met °?- Leo Koo's song "How I Wish." Although Korsten doesn't know a word of the Chinese song, he can accompany the melody when Xu is singing it.
At the time, Korsten worked for Shanghai Volkswagen in Anting Town as a manager of the Polo model production line. He was sent to Shanghai in May, 2001, on what was to be a three-month assignment. But every time he was due to return to Germany, something came up at the factory and his departure was postponed.
He used to sit in the pub enjoying a quiet drink and wishing he were home when suddenly Xu walked into his life. His homesickness ended abruptly.
"I never expected that my three-month trip to China would evolve into a nine-year stay." Korsten said, with a satisfied grin.
To be sure, it wasn't love at first sight. When they met, Xu was recovering from the end of a bad marriage, and Korsten, too, was nursing the aftermath of a divorce.
What brought them together was sharing their stories of disillusioned love and the grief of failed marriages.
In May, 2003, Korsten's assignment in Anting was completed, and Volkswagen said he would be sent back to Germany.
Friends who viewed their romance as a short fling were aghast to hear that Korsten had proposed marriage to Xu.
"If you are willing, marry me," Korsten's said to Xu, who was as surprised as anyone.
Although she was moved by Korsten's frankness and tenderness, Xu said she was afraid to commit to marriage again. But after a three-month trip to Germany to meet his parents and experience a bit of his culture, her anxiety ended and her mind was made up.
"This is the last time I place my trust in marriage," she said.
The couple got married in the small town of Schlitz near Frankfurt. Xu was the first foreigner ever married in the town. Even there the difference in cultures created a snafu.
The marriage registration required that both parties understand what was said during the ceremony. Korsten had some difficulties but finally found a Chinese girl who could interpret all the legal language for Xu.
About one year ago, Korsten changed his job and went to work for ThyssenKrupp System Engineering, headquartered in Pudong. They rented a house in Pudong for half a year but eventually moved back to Anting.
"We have lived in Anting for eight years," Xu explains. "What attracts us here are the modern, tranquil environment and the honesty and hospitality of local people."
The couple has a five-year-old child.
At the end of July, Xu and Korsten held a party at an Anting restaurant to celebrate their seventh wedding anniversary. More than 30 friends attended.
One of the gifts they received at the party was a tee shirt emblazoned with a lucky clover, the numeral 7, the national flags of Germany and China, and the signatures of all their friends.
"We were fortunate enough to meet, and I believe that we will remain happily married to a ripe old age," Xu said.
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