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Cutting someone short - learning about Chinese greetings
By Guan Xiaode |
March 30, 2009, Monday
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Print Edition
Print Edition
THE first time I came to China, Chinese people often greeted me in a way that I was not used to, such as: "Have you had your dinner yet?"
It's very common here, but in Western countries, people usually say "hello" or "how are you?"
Someone told me that it was because China used to be very poor and people always suffered from hunger, so it was the most important thing when people met each other.
For foreigners, it's not difficult to understand this after learning the reason. But to be frank, I'm still not good at responding to such greetings.
I think maybe Chinese people have a strict timetable for dinner since they seem to have lunch at the same time, which is not the same as in Western countries. Most Westerners have lunch at about 12pm, but others may have it at 1pm or later - or even not at all.
In China, no matter what time you meet others, they ask: "Have you had your dinner?" Occasionally I haven't yet, so I answer honestly: "No." They feel nervous and ask why. Then I have to explain until they understand me.
After living here for a while, I've realized that no matter whether I've eaten or not, I should answer "yes," which fits the traditional greeting custom.
Chinese greetings have very different in greetings that Westerners are familiar with. For example, after "hello," we are used to asking more questions, such as "how do you do?" or "is every thing all right?"
However, when I ask Chinese people what's following after "hello," they say that in China people seldom say anything after "hi." I have trouble understanding this because it seems too abrupt. Someone has suggested that I say "What are you busy with?" or more humorously "Still alive, uh?" I prefer the latter.
As well, Westerners also find that the way Chinese people have of refusing others is kind of abruptness. When they don't want something, they just say "no" or "I don't want it," while Westerners usually say "no, thanks" instead. We think that even if we don't want it, we prefer to express it softly. A simple "no" or "I don't want it" seems to be impolite.
However, I eventually found that the best refusal expression is "I don't want it," because in Chinese "thanks" is usually put before "no." So if you say "Thank you, but I don't want it," it will be puzzling.
When you firstly say "Thank you," people will feel happy and believe you want it. Then if you add "I don't want it," this is like pulling someone down from the top of a mountain. They'll feel very disappointed. So finally I have got used to that direct refusal. When in Rome do as the Romans do.
(Translated by Pan Zheng)
It's very common here, but in Western countries, people usually say "hello" or "how are you?"
Someone told me that it was because China used to be very poor and people always suffered from hunger, so it was the most important thing when people met each other.
For foreigners, it's not difficult to understand this after learning the reason. But to be frank, I'm still not good at responding to such greetings.
I think maybe Chinese people have a strict timetable for dinner since they seem to have lunch at the same time, which is not the same as in Western countries. Most Westerners have lunch at about 12pm, but others may have it at 1pm or later - or even not at all.
In China, no matter what time you meet others, they ask: "Have you had your dinner?" Occasionally I haven't yet, so I answer honestly: "No." They feel nervous and ask why. Then I have to explain until they understand me.
After living here for a while, I've realized that no matter whether I've eaten or not, I should answer "yes," which fits the traditional greeting custom.
Chinese greetings have very different in greetings that Westerners are familiar with. For example, after "hello," we are used to asking more questions, such as "how do you do?" or "is every thing all right?"
However, when I ask Chinese people what's following after "hello," they say that in China people seldom say anything after "hi." I have trouble understanding this because it seems too abrupt. Someone has suggested that I say "What are you busy with?" or more humorously "Still alive, uh?" I prefer the latter.
As well, Westerners also find that the way Chinese people have of refusing others is kind of abruptness. When they don't want something, they just say "no" or "I don't want it," while Westerners usually say "no, thanks" instead. We think that even if we don't want it, we prefer to express it softly. A simple "no" or "I don't want it" seems to be impolite.
However, I eventually found that the best refusal expression is "I don't want it," because in Chinese "thanks" is usually put before "no." So if you say "Thank you, but I don't want it," it will be puzzling.
When you firstly say "Thank you," people will feel happy and believe you want it. Then if you add "I don't want it," this is like pulling someone down from the top of a mountain. They'll feel very disappointed. So finally I have got used to that direct refusal. When in Rome do as the Romans do.
(Translated by Pan Zheng)
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