The art of pulling heartstrings
By Victoria Fei |
January 26, 2013, Saturday
|
Print Edition
Print Edition
FOR a matchmaker, the most heartening words are "lived happily ever after."
For Xiang Yuemei, 56, there have been some 600 fairytale endings in her 36 years as a matchmaker.
The Minhang native reckoned about 10 couples a year have gotten married as the result of her romance brokering. In a day of TV dating shows and matchmaking websites, the ancient tradition of the personal touch still thrives.
"I love what I do," said Xiang. "I do it on a volunteer basis because I get so much happiness from making other people happy."
As early as her 20s, when Xiang herself was unmarried, she made her first foray into matchmaking.
"I was born into a poor family and had little education," she said. "But I had the gift of a silver tongue. People liked talking to me because of my humor and integrity. There used to be an old matchmaker in our village who wanted to find a wife for a local guy. I introduced my best girl friend to her. Amazingly, the two fell in love and got married."
Xiang's first matchmaking efforts focused on friends, but soon her reputation for pairing people up became widespread and lonely hearts came knocking on her door.
Nowadays in Minhang, Xiang is well known for her matchmaking skills. Many parents seek her out, hoping she will find Mr Right or Miss Right for their children.
Finding soulmate
"I think she has higher success rate than any other matchmaker," said Wang Li, who found her son-in-law through Xiang's intervention. "We trust her because she is discreet with personal family information and because she has a sense about who will make a reliable match."
It takes a keen eye and a sixth sense to pull that off. Nothing escapes Xiang's piercing look as she sizes up candidates.
"I can see if a boy wastes all his time playing mahjong," she said. "I pass over men who indulge in drink and gambling. I prefer girls who don't go disco dancing all night and don't wear heavy make-up. I'm very conservative."
In fact, her ideal candidates are young people who understand the harmony and rewards of home life.
Xiang is meticulous about recording details of possible candidates: name, gender, age, height, job, hobbies, ambitions, references and other attributes.
She has developed three dating systems tailored to the various personalities of candidates. Often she allows couples to meet in her living room to get acquainted. If they prefer to meet at a restaurant, she arranges that, too.
18 pork shanks
Chinese tradition calls for a successful matchmaker to be given 18 pork shanks as a gift. In these modern times, Xiang is often given a red envelope filled with money by the family celebrating the wedding.
"I'm not doing matchmaking for money," she said. "I prefer pork shanks or even wedding candies as gifts, if there has to be one."
Xiang naturally has some tips to give young singles.
"They should not be obsessed with appearances and economic status when looking for a mate," she said. "Morality and even the ability to manage a household are more important."
Feeling a bit lovelorn?
Xiang can be reached on her mobile at 1368-1745-609.
For Xiang Yuemei, 56, there have been some 600 fairytale endings in her 36 years as a matchmaker.
The Minhang native reckoned about 10 couples a year have gotten married as the result of her romance brokering. In a day of TV dating shows and matchmaking websites, the ancient tradition of the personal touch still thrives.
"I love what I do," said Xiang. "I do it on a volunteer basis because I get so much happiness from making other people happy."
As early as her 20s, when Xiang herself was unmarried, she made her first foray into matchmaking.
"I was born into a poor family and had little education," she said. "But I had the gift of a silver tongue. People liked talking to me because of my humor and integrity. There used to be an old matchmaker in our village who wanted to find a wife for a local guy. I introduced my best girl friend to her. Amazingly, the two fell in love and got married."
Xiang's first matchmaking efforts focused on friends, but soon her reputation for pairing people up became widespread and lonely hearts came knocking on her door.
Nowadays in Minhang, Xiang is well known for her matchmaking skills. Many parents seek her out, hoping she will find Mr Right or Miss Right for their children.
Finding soulmate
"I think she has higher success rate than any other matchmaker," said Wang Li, who found her son-in-law through Xiang's intervention. "We trust her because she is discreet with personal family information and because she has a sense about who will make a reliable match."
It takes a keen eye and a sixth sense to pull that off. Nothing escapes Xiang's piercing look as she sizes up candidates.
"I can see if a boy wastes all his time playing mahjong," she said. "I pass over men who indulge in drink and gambling. I prefer girls who don't go disco dancing all night and don't wear heavy make-up. I'm very conservative."
In fact, her ideal candidates are young people who understand the harmony and rewards of home life.
Xiang is meticulous about recording details of possible candidates: name, gender, age, height, job, hobbies, ambitions, references and other attributes.
She has developed three dating systems tailored to the various personalities of candidates. Often she allows couples to meet in her living room to get acquainted. If they prefer to meet at a restaurant, she arranges that, too.
18 pork shanks
Chinese tradition calls for a successful matchmaker to be given 18 pork shanks as a gift. In these modern times, Xiang is often given a red envelope filled with money by the family celebrating the wedding.
"I'm not doing matchmaking for money," she said. "I prefer pork shanks or even wedding candies as gifts, if there has to be one."
Xiang naturally has some tips to give young singles.
"They should not be obsessed with appearances and economic status when looking for a mate," she said. "Morality and even the ability to manage a household are more important."
Feeling a bit lovelorn?
Xiang can be reached on her mobile at 1368-1745-609.
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