Englishman finds home in Suzhou
By Fei Lai |
August 14, 2012, Tuesday
|
Print Edition
Print Edition
Shariff Tbealeh has taken to life in Suzhou so well that he now prefers to call his native England his "second home."
Tbealeh arrived in the city for the first time four and a half years ago, and is now married to a Suzhou native and the father of a two-year-old son.
"My father is from Palestine and my mother from England. I've got lots of family living in Middle East, but when I first came to China, I didn't know what to expect," says Tbealeh, who is in his 30s.
"Suzhou was the first place I stayed in when I came to China. At the beginning, I just thought it was a new adventure and wanted to have a look and check things out," says the native of Bristol.
However, life in Suzhou took a more meaningful turn when Tbealeh met his future wife.
After studying Chinese at Suzhou University for four months, Tbealeh started work at Sunflower, an English language training center, where he met his future wife, a colleague.
He clearly remembers their first date, though admits that it wasn't the most romantic encounter.
"Since her former job was as a tour guide in Suzhou, I asked her to show me around," he says. "It was in 2008 when China faced very bad snow storms. The weather was really bad that day, with no taxis or buses due to the heavy snow. I waited two hours for her."
But a snow storm proved no obstacle to romance, and Tbealeh is now happily settled into family life in Suzhou and manager at Sunflower.
"I met my wife, we settled down and had a baby. And now I'm the manager of a school. Life is just very good," he says.
"In fact, I had a weird feeling of home here. Even though I'd never been to China before, I just had the feeling that this is the right place to be. And that my life would change here."
Being the son-in-law in a traditional Chinese family can be daunting, but Tbealeh says he was up to the challenge. The first task he faced was to persuade his wife's parents to hold a buffet for the wedding rather than the sit-down dinner preferred by many Chinese.
"It was a five-star wedding but it didn't cost as much as a Chinese wedding as we planned all ourselves," he says.
"Instead of a sit-down meal, we had a buffet. My wife's parents didn't agree at the beginning. They wanted the sit-down meal because they didn't want to lose face. It's about the culture.
"So we explained that we wanted our wedding to be our wedding," says Tbealeh.
He explained to them that he wanted people to get up and speak and mingle at the wedding, and that a buffet made this easier.
Eventually, his future in-laws were persuaded to go with the buffet.
However, Tbealeh and his bride also had a traditional Chinese wedding ceremony. Afterwards, the ballroom was turned into a disco, and guests took to the dance floor.
"My wife's mother danced with my father and her father danced with my mother. That was the most amazing scene," Tbealeh recalls.
"We thought that Chinese people would go home but they were so interested they stayed."
Tbealeh says that coming to China, foreigners have to learn to accept things they are not accustomed to. "The sooner you accept these things, the quicker you can learn to love the things about China."
At Sunflower, Tbealeh's students range from three to 16 years old. He teaches them English language, culture and manners.
He agrees with the perennial complaint of Chinese students that they are burdened with too much homework. Tbealeh believes Chinese children do not get enough time to go out and play.
But despite this, he wants to educate his son in the Chinese way.
"In England, children have too much time to do bad things because they don't have much homework," he says.
He also praises the sense of community in Suzhou and how safe he finds the city.
"When you go out at night here, you see people dancing and exercising. There is a real community feel. When you go outside, you always feel safe," he says.
"But in England, you see children writing graffiti on walls and breaking into cars. You never go out alone late at night because you're worried that something will happen to you. Suzhou is safe and comfortable."
Tbealeh's love of Suzhou extends to the cuisine. "My mother-in-law makes a lot of Suzhou dishes, which I really like. I prefer Chinese to Western food."
As almost a local, Tbealeh has gained a reputation for helping new expats in the city, posting useful information on social websites.
He has even acquired the nickname "sausage boy" as he makes sausages using his own recipe and shares them out among expat friends.
Looking ahead, Tbealeh has very definite plans for life in Suzhou.
"I hope I can buy a house and do the normal Chinese thing," he says. "I'm not the kind of person with a lot of big ambitions. I like to be comfortable but I'm not greedy."
Nationality: British
Profession: Manager of an English language training center
￥ Impression of the city: Always changing.
￥ Strangest sight: I recently bought a car. It's very different to driving in England! Here, I see slow drivers in the fast lane and fast drivers in the slow lane. On the highway it would be dangerous.
￥ Motto for life: To be happy. It's always the same. Not to be rich. Just be happy and comfortable.
￥ How to improve Suzhou: We need more websites like livingsu.com. We can always find information about what expats are up to, but we can hardly find out what Chinese are doing. More such websites would enable expats to see what festivals and other events are going on in the local community.
This series focuses on individuals who have lived in Suzhou for a while and have a tale that's worth telling. Age, gender, and nationality are all unimportant in comparison with what adventures the subject has been up to, the experiences they can recount.
Tbealeh arrived in the city for the first time four and a half years ago, and is now married to a Suzhou native and the father of a two-year-old son.
"My father is from Palestine and my mother from England. I've got lots of family living in Middle East, but when I first came to China, I didn't know what to expect," says Tbealeh, who is in his 30s.
"Suzhou was the first place I stayed in when I came to China. At the beginning, I just thought it was a new adventure and wanted to have a look and check things out," says the native of Bristol.
However, life in Suzhou took a more meaningful turn when Tbealeh met his future wife.
After studying Chinese at Suzhou University for four months, Tbealeh started work at Sunflower, an English language training center, where he met his future wife, a colleague.
He clearly remembers their first date, though admits that it wasn't the most romantic encounter.
"Since her former job was as a tour guide in Suzhou, I asked her to show me around," he says. "It was in 2008 when China faced very bad snow storms. The weather was really bad that day, with no taxis or buses due to the heavy snow. I waited two hours for her."
But a snow storm proved no obstacle to romance, and Tbealeh is now happily settled into family life in Suzhou and manager at Sunflower.
"I met my wife, we settled down and had a baby. And now I'm the manager of a school. Life is just very good," he says.
"In fact, I had a weird feeling of home here. Even though I'd never been to China before, I just had the feeling that this is the right place to be. And that my life would change here."
Being the son-in-law in a traditional Chinese family can be daunting, but Tbealeh says he was up to the challenge. The first task he faced was to persuade his wife's parents to hold a buffet for the wedding rather than the sit-down dinner preferred by many Chinese.
"It was a five-star wedding but it didn't cost as much as a Chinese wedding as we planned all ourselves," he says.
"Instead of a sit-down meal, we had a buffet. My wife's parents didn't agree at the beginning. They wanted the sit-down meal because they didn't want to lose face. It's about the culture.
"So we explained that we wanted our wedding to be our wedding," says Tbealeh.
He explained to them that he wanted people to get up and speak and mingle at the wedding, and that a buffet made this easier.
Eventually, his future in-laws were persuaded to go with the buffet.
However, Tbealeh and his bride also had a traditional Chinese wedding ceremony. Afterwards, the ballroom was turned into a disco, and guests took to the dance floor.
"My wife's mother danced with my father and her father danced with my mother. That was the most amazing scene," Tbealeh recalls.
"We thought that Chinese people would go home but they were so interested they stayed."
Tbealeh says that coming to China, foreigners have to learn to accept things they are not accustomed to. "The sooner you accept these things, the quicker you can learn to love the things about China."
At Sunflower, Tbealeh's students range from three to 16 years old. He teaches them English language, culture and manners.
He agrees with the perennial complaint of Chinese students that they are burdened with too much homework. Tbealeh believes Chinese children do not get enough time to go out and play.
But despite this, he wants to educate his son in the Chinese way.
"In England, children have too much time to do bad things because they don't have much homework," he says.
He also praises the sense of community in Suzhou and how safe he finds the city.
"When you go out at night here, you see people dancing and exercising. There is a real community feel. When you go outside, you always feel safe," he says.
"But in England, you see children writing graffiti on walls and breaking into cars. You never go out alone late at night because you're worried that something will happen to you. Suzhou is safe and comfortable."
Tbealeh's love of Suzhou extends to the cuisine. "My mother-in-law makes a lot of Suzhou dishes, which I really like. I prefer Chinese to Western food."
As almost a local, Tbealeh has gained a reputation for helping new expats in the city, posting useful information on social websites.
He has even acquired the nickname "sausage boy" as he makes sausages using his own recipe and shares them out among expat friends.
Looking ahead, Tbealeh has very definite plans for life in Suzhou.
"I hope I can buy a house and do the normal Chinese thing," he says. "I'm not the kind of person with a lot of big ambitions. I like to be comfortable but I'm not greedy."
Nationality: British
Profession: Manager of an English language training center
￥ Impression of the city: Always changing.
￥ Strangest sight: I recently bought a car. It's very different to driving in England! Here, I see slow drivers in the fast lane and fast drivers in the slow lane. On the highway it would be dangerous.
￥ Motto for life: To be happy. It's always the same. Not to be rich. Just be happy and comfortable.
￥ How to improve Suzhou: We need more websites like livingsu.com. We can always find information about what expats are up to, but we can hardly find out what Chinese are doing. More such websites would enable expats to see what festivals and other events are going on in the local community.
This series focuses on individuals who have lived in Suzhou for a while and have a tale that's worth telling. Age, gender, and nationality are all unimportant in comparison with what adventures the subject has been up to, the experiences they can recount.
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