AS the new school term begins, some parents fall into the trap of buying all the latest and most expensive items for their children, but teachers and psychologists say this willingness to fulfill every desire can be detrimental to kids, writes Wang Jie.

The summer vacation is over and the new school term is about to begin next week at most schools across the country.

For many parents, this means it's time to purchase new stationery items and digital gadgets for their kids.

Top a popular list of must-haves now widely circulated online among university freshmen is a laptop followed by other electronic gadgets and daily utensils.

An ordinary laptop sells for around 4,000 yuan (US$630), almost the same as a resident's monthly salary in Shanghai. Last year Shanghai residents' monthly income averaged at 4,331 yuan, according to the city's labor bureau.

Buying the best of the best for kids seems to be a trend among Chinese parents and this is partly attributed to the one-child policy. When there is only one child supported by their parents and grandparents, there seems to be no reason not to buy the best.

Consequently, children want the best as well.

"I want a new mobile phone," said Xu Wenwen, a 14-year-old boy in Shanghai.

"Surely this is the iPhone 4S. Most of my classmates already have one and my old phone is so outdated. I feel embarrassed to use it in front of them. When they are talking about the iPhone functions, I appeared almost like an idiot."

An iPhone 4S costs about 5,000 yuan, nearly half of his mother's monthly salary.

"I hesitated for a while because it is not necessary for his school work," said Xu's mother, Rebecca Wu, a 43-year-old accountant working at an international company.

"This is not a small amount for our family. To tell you the truth, while everyone marvels at the legend of Steve Jobs, I rather 'hate' him. Yes, these iPods, iPhones, iPads and i-whatevers widen one's vision toward digital equipment, but they add more to the financial burden for a family. They also hinder direct communication with the real outside world."

For some, an iPhone, iPad and Macbook are necessary for those entering university.

"My daughter was admitted by Fudan University and she asked me to buy these as a reward," said Zhang Kaicheng, a 50-year-old mother.

"I have already paid her tuition and accommodation fee. So this is a large sum of money. Now I am afraid whether another expense will come along. I heard from my daughter that the parents of her best friend even bought a mini-refrigerator for her dormitory."

'Standard e-equipment'

According to a Beijing Evening News report earlier this month, a mother was seen weeping in Zhongguancun electronic shopping center after she hesitated when her daughter requested the so-called "standard e-equipment of a college student" - an iPhone, iPad and Macbook.

The woman's daughter said she will "lose face" in front of her future classmates without these gadgets.

The three devices cost in excess of 20,000 yuan, which is too much for the mother.

The case was widely spread online and roused concern among many parents and educators over "adult-like consumption habits" among children and the comparison phenomenon.

For younger children, the demands are not quite so high. Stationery items are usually given by parents for the new semester. But even these items can make parents blush when they see the price tags.

"I just bought a bunch of stationery items for my son who is going to enter primary school this autumn," said Bruce Li, an accountant.

"At first, I thought those pencil cases, pencils, erasers and schoolbag wouldn't cost much, but I was wrong. My wife insisted on buying the Disney brand, and it really is expensive."

Song Keran, the head-teacher of a third-year class at a local school, said: "During meetings with parents, I always suggest they do not buy these flashy stationery items or digital equipment. The parents need to nurture a thrifty habit in their children, which is obviously a Chinese tradition. Plus these things do not help students get better grades."

Song says the overall improvement in people's lives have made it easier for more families to buy the latest gadgets for their children.

"All the trendy products show the affluence of the family. But the parents have the final say on whether to buy these things. Sometimes these devices divert the attention of the students during class," Song says. "They only meet the vanity desire of the kids."

Some parents find bribing their children is initially an easy way to get them to do things, but later realize this is not a good idea - both for their children and their wallet.

"Sometimes I hate myself," says Wu Yun, a mother of a 10-year-old boy.

"Today I can't recall when I cultivated such a habit in my son. He loves Transformers, but he is a very naughty boy. When I needed him to do something, I always lured him by saying I would buy a new Transformer for him. Guess what, it really worked. Now this has become a financial burden. Just imagine, I have to spend nearly 200 yuan for a new Transformer every week, otherwise he won't study well, eat well or go to bed on time."

Thomas Hu, a lawyer and a father of an 11-year-old son, is much stricter than Wu.

"Gifts are seldom given to my boy, except on his birthday," Hu said. "I have seen too many cases where the kids are spoiled by the parents. But society isn't controlled by their parents. There is no free lunch. Getting things too easily might be a trap. I always tell my son, 'If you want this, the only way to get it is to get it by yourself when you grow up. It is my obligation to raise you, but not to give you everything you want'."

Feng Yalan, a psychological consultant, says although it is natural for parents to want their children to have a better life than themselves, there needs to be a limit.

"Let the kid live better is the hope of all parents," Feng says.

"But don't overspend on unnecessary items, especially beyond the family's financial ability. A good moral education is more critical than fulfilling your child's every desire."