Seniors help older seniors in Chatting Team
By Qu Zhi |
May 22, 2013, Wednesday
|
Print Edition
Print Edition
THE founder of an elders volunteer group helping lonely seniors says, "Our job is like giving roses to others - the fragrance lingers for you." Qu Zhi reports.
In one unusual volunteer group in the Pudong New Area that helps seniors older than 75, every single one of the helpers is elderly. The average age is 67, with the oldest 72.
These oldsters are members of the Pudong Chatting Team, which provides company (lots of chatting) and services for elders in many communities in the new area.
The group was founded in 2011 by Shao Lanfang, a retired staff medical officer at a factory. Today the chatting team has more than 400 volunteers and has helped an estimated 400 seniors. Most of the volunteers and the people they help are women.
Shao, 64, set up the group with support from the Women's Federation of the Pudong New Area. Although the Pudong Civil Affairs Bureau helps families and seniors in financial need, Shao found that many people who don't need money are desperately in need of companionship and support.
Many are forgotten by society and neglected by their children, Shao says.
"Hopefully, we can go into their world and give some of our own time to make a difference in their lives," she tells Shanghai Daily. "We just do little things, but twice a week or more we keep these seniors company for at least an hour."
Volunteer Xi Biyu, who used to be the Party secretary in her residential community, was moved to help when she saw Le Wendi, an elderly woman living alone.
Le, now around 80, had been diagnosed with depression and attempted suicide twice. She is divorced and has a mentally ill son who does not live with her. Le's only companion, a nurse, defrauded her and stole her savings.
Various activities
Xi helped get Le's money back and now visits her almost every two days, does household chores and takes Le outside the house so she doesn't feel so lonely.
"They say those who survive a catastrophe are bound to have good fortune later and that's so true. I feel alive now. A chance encounter brought Xi to me and now I have hope to live and be happier," says Le.
After each visit, a volunteer returns to the office and writes a brief description. They take elders to a park, meet new people, play some simple sports and games. They give birthday cakes, and that simple act of remembering a birthday often brings tears to the eyes.
They also organize activities for seniors.
"At one gathering, I saw a 90-year-old man singing an old song that echoed round the room. He didn't miss a word. You would be amazed by how vibrant he was," Shao says.
At the beginning, it can be difficult to give help because many people reject it at first, Shao says, adding that the team is patient and matches volunteers' interests with those of the lonely senior.
Every two weeks there's a required psychology class. Professional psychologists give talks to the volunteers about depression and the mental issues of elderly people, so that they can better provide comfort and encouragement.
Every month volunteers get together in their communities to share their experience and describe how they approach problems. Volunteers make suggestions to help others with their cases. Most of the volunteers work one to one.
Some of the more experienced helpers give comfort to the dying and remain by the bedside until they pass.
Since all the carers and those they help are around the same age, relationships are often harmonious.
Most of the volunteers are neighbors and sometimes they live in the same building with the person they help, making it easier to do small tasks such as shopping or paying bills. It's also good to have a friend nearby in case of emergencies.
Common interest is important.
"Sometimes we have contacted elderly painters who live alone, and they are quite hostile to our team at first," says Shao. "We then send volunteers who paint as a hobby or know about art. At first, they were like apprentices and gradually started to be part of their life."
Family care needed
For Hua Shuying, 85, Chatting Team is her lifeline. Hua used to be head of a nursery school and has two daughters, one a professor in the United States, the other living in Canada. But neither provides care.
"I am truly grateful to this team and my volunteer. She knows me even better than my daughters," Hua tells Shanghai Daily. Last year, when her daughter asked her to move to America, Hua declined.
"Why would I leave this warm big family (of the community) to a place where even a dog is freer than me?" she asks, fearing that she would be cooped up and lonely.
Isolation can be terrible and nothing compares with being loved by caring children, Shao says. "But they just don't have the time, and this situation isn't rare." Sometimes children will be ashamed when they see how volunteers help their parents, and start to become more attentive.
People shower too much attention on children and show insufficient compassion and love for the elderly, Shao says.
Last year Chatting Team started visiting junior high schools, encouraging young people to care for seniors. During the Chinese Lunar New Year, a handful of sixth-graders visited a 101-year-old woman at her home, giving her a cake and keeping her company for four hours.
Chinese teens know classic sayings about filial piety by heart, such as Mencius' "Honor old people as we do our own elderly parents and care for others' children as our own."
But saying the words doesn't mean they know how it feels. Then they saw the 101-year-old woman trembling with emotion at their visit and with shaking hands preparing treats for them.
The Chatting Team keeps getting larger and as elderly volunteers age, they hope the spirit of caring will be passed on and that seniors will have a good life.
"Our job is like giving roses to others - the fragrance lingers for you," Shao says.
In one unusual volunteer group in the Pudong New Area that helps seniors older than 75, every single one of the helpers is elderly. The average age is 67, with the oldest 72.
These oldsters are members of the Pudong Chatting Team, which provides company (lots of chatting) and services for elders in many communities in the new area.
The group was founded in 2011 by Shao Lanfang, a retired staff medical officer at a factory. Today the chatting team has more than 400 volunteers and has helped an estimated 400 seniors. Most of the volunteers and the people they help are women.
Shao, 64, set up the group with support from the Women's Federation of the Pudong New Area. Although the Pudong Civil Affairs Bureau helps families and seniors in financial need, Shao found that many people who don't need money are desperately in need of companionship and support.
Many are forgotten by society and neglected by their children, Shao says.
"Hopefully, we can go into their world and give some of our own time to make a difference in their lives," she tells Shanghai Daily. "We just do little things, but twice a week or more we keep these seniors company for at least an hour."
Volunteer Xi Biyu, who used to be the Party secretary in her residential community, was moved to help when she saw Le Wendi, an elderly woman living alone.
Le, now around 80, had been diagnosed with depression and attempted suicide twice. She is divorced and has a mentally ill son who does not live with her. Le's only companion, a nurse, defrauded her and stole her savings.
Various activities
Xi helped get Le's money back and now visits her almost every two days, does household chores and takes Le outside the house so she doesn't feel so lonely.
"They say those who survive a catastrophe are bound to have good fortune later and that's so true. I feel alive now. A chance encounter brought Xi to me and now I have hope to live and be happier," says Le.
After each visit, a volunteer returns to the office and writes a brief description. They take elders to a park, meet new people, play some simple sports and games. They give birthday cakes, and that simple act of remembering a birthday often brings tears to the eyes.
They also organize activities for seniors.
"At one gathering, I saw a 90-year-old man singing an old song that echoed round the room. He didn't miss a word. You would be amazed by how vibrant he was," Shao says.
At the beginning, it can be difficult to give help because many people reject it at first, Shao says, adding that the team is patient and matches volunteers' interests with those of the lonely senior.
Every two weeks there's a required psychology class. Professional psychologists give talks to the volunteers about depression and the mental issues of elderly people, so that they can better provide comfort and encouragement.
Every month volunteers get together in their communities to share their experience and describe how they approach problems. Volunteers make suggestions to help others with their cases. Most of the volunteers work one to one.
Some of the more experienced helpers give comfort to the dying and remain by the bedside until they pass.
Since all the carers and those they help are around the same age, relationships are often harmonious.
Most of the volunteers are neighbors and sometimes they live in the same building with the person they help, making it easier to do small tasks such as shopping or paying bills. It's also good to have a friend nearby in case of emergencies.
Common interest is important.
"Sometimes we have contacted elderly painters who live alone, and they are quite hostile to our team at first," says Shao. "We then send volunteers who paint as a hobby or know about art. At first, they were like apprentices and gradually started to be part of their life."
Family care needed
For Hua Shuying, 85, Chatting Team is her lifeline. Hua used to be head of a nursery school and has two daughters, one a professor in the United States, the other living in Canada. But neither provides care.
"I am truly grateful to this team and my volunteer. She knows me even better than my daughters," Hua tells Shanghai Daily. Last year, when her daughter asked her to move to America, Hua declined.
"Why would I leave this warm big family (of the community) to a place where even a dog is freer than me?" she asks, fearing that she would be cooped up and lonely.
Isolation can be terrible and nothing compares with being loved by caring children, Shao says. "But they just don't have the time, and this situation isn't rare." Sometimes children will be ashamed when they see how volunteers help their parents, and start to become more attentive.
People shower too much attention on children and show insufficient compassion and love for the elderly, Shao says.
Last year Chatting Team started visiting junior high schools, encouraging young people to care for seniors. During the Chinese Lunar New Year, a handful of sixth-graders visited a 101-year-old woman at her home, giving her a cake and keeping her company for four hours.
Chinese teens know classic sayings about filial piety by heart, such as Mencius' "Honor old people as we do our own elderly parents and care for others' children as our own."
But saying the words doesn't mean they know how it feels. Then they saw the 101-year-old woman trembling with emotion at their visit and with shaking hands preparing treats for them.
The Chatting Team keeps getting larger and as elderly volunteers age, they hope the spirit of caring will be passed on and that seniors will have a good life.
"Our job is like giving roses to others - the fragrance lingers for you," Shao says.
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