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Wan LixinOpinion deputy editor of Shanghai Daily
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Forward thinking makes leaving easier
June 22, 2011, Wednesday
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Print Edition
Print Edition
LEONARD Moong, SSIS department head, guidance and counselling
There is a saying: "All good things must come to an end." From my experience as a counselor in an international school, that is exactly the case when it comes to friends in school.
Given the nature of parents' international job postings, many students change school frequently, where good-byes are common among students at the end of the academic year when people move on to new pastures.
There are many emotions involved when people let go of friendships and these emotions are usually unpleasant. Some people will notice that negative thoughts start to manifest in their head; "I will never see him again." "Our friendship is going to end." "I am going to be lonely with no friends in the next academic year."
One important factor when it comes to coping with good-byes is the management of negative thoughts. People often bend towards pessimistic thoughts when facing uncertainty or when they are stepping out of their comfort zone.
A spiral of negative thinking tends to overwhelm the mind when people have to let go of positive experiences. It becomes difficult to rationalize when people are engaged in a sea of pessimistic thinking.
While there are many methods to cope with such situations, one possible way is to constantly remind ourselves to think positively while maintaining an open mind.
Challenge your thoughts whenever you notice yourself being engaged in the spiral of negative thoughts. You will soon identify a pattern in your thinking, which you should interrupt at the first instance.
It is important to draw power from previous experiences and challenge your pessimistic thoughts by thinking objectively. Focus your mind to reflect on the positives and reassess the situation, instead of dwelling on the past.
The key to success is to embrace change instead of resisting it. Look forward to what the new academic year has to offer and move on in life. Past experiences shape our character but it is the future where we belong.
There is a saying: "All good things must come to an end." From my experience as a counselor in an international school, that is exactly the case when it comes to friends in school.
Given the nature of parents' international job postings, many students change school frequently, where good-byes are common among students at the end of the academic year when people move on to new pastures.
There are many emotions involved when people let go of friendships and these emotions are usually unpleasant. Some people will notice that negative thoughts start to manifest in their head; "I will never see him again." "Our friendship is going to end." "I am going to be lonely with no friends in the next academic year."
One important factor when it comes to coping with good-byes is the management of negative thoughts. People often bend towards pessimistic thoughts when facing uncertainty or when they are stepping out of their comfort zone.
A spiral of negative thinking tends to overwhelm the mind when people have to let go of positive experiences. It becomes difficult to rationalize when people are engaged in a sea of pessimistic thinking.
While there are many methods to cope with such situations, one possible way is to constantly remind ourselves to think positively while maintaining an open mind.
Challenge your thoughts whenever you notice yourself being engaged in the spiral of negative thoughts. You will soon identify a pattern in your thinking, which you should interrupt at the first instance.
It is important to draw power from previous experiences and challenge your pessimistic thoughts by thinking objectively. Focus your mind to reflect on the positives and reassess the situation, instead of dwelling on the past.
The key to success is to embrace change instead of resisting it. Look forward to what the new academic year has to offer and move on in life. Past experiences shape our character but it is the future where we belong.
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