WEDDINGS are among the most powerful rites and celebrations in a person?s, family?s and often a community?s life. They join lovers and their families, small and extended, and bring joy to many people.

Getting hitched, tying the knot, walking to the altar, uniting in holy matrimony, vowing ?till death do us part ? by whatever name, marriage, wedding ceremonies and parties that typically reflect their cultures.

They can be grand, intimate, sweet, solemn, riotous or playful.

Though some elements are the same worldwide, such as the exchange of vows and gifts, rituals, traditions and customs vary greatly among cultures, ethnic groups, religions, countries, regions and social classes.

They include planting a tree on the day of wedding, òkidnappingó the bride during the ceremony, breaking plates and glasses during the ceremony and playing hide-and-seek before the rites.

We invite residents of six countries to write a short article about the wedding traditions and customs in their countries. They have either had their own weddings or participated in many.

Bachelor parties, idyllic settings, 'kidnapping' the bride

Satu Uskali

Finnish weddings are a combination of tradition and innovation. The modern Finnish bride and bridegroom usually want to follow the genuine old traditions, but also to borrow some more modern ones from different cultures. An ideal wedding requires a genuine Finnish idyllic atmosphere: a cloudless summer day, a picturesque church, a reception by a lakeside with birch trees.

Today's weddings can be very impressive - with even 150 to 200 guests invited. Couples spend a lot of time and effort (and money) to plan and accomplish the Perfect Romantic Day, with matching colors and themes for the invitation cards, flower decorations, wedding candies and cakes. The other extreme, though, is to visit the local administrative court with two witnesses.

Before the wedding the bride and the bridegroom celebrate their bachelor parties, their "last day as single," hanging around with their friends, often wearing masks, wigs, funny clothes, selling dubious services, amusing passersby.

The priest's "Amen" is important: almost all church members want a church wedding, although modern weddings could be characterized more as a display rite. The newlyweds step out of the church first, and the guests throw rice on them - guaranteeing fertility. They drive away in a limousine with tin cans hanging behind it - the noise keeps away the evil spirits. Only the bride is allowed to wear white and only the groom has a flower in his lapel. The bride wears "something old, something new, something borrowed and something blue."

At the reception the newlyweds sit in seats of honor. The bride's father makes a speech, and the evening is filled with food, drinks, coffee, cakes, music and dance. The newlyweds cut the cake first and start the wedding waltz.

Usually the best man and maid of honor, the couple's best friends, have arranged a special program, one of the most popular being "kidnapping the bride": the bride is taken away, and the groom has to accomplish some romantic task to bring her back - such as writing a romantic poem.

The dancing and partying get wilder during the late evening, and at some point there comes the casting of the bride's bouquet and garter: the unmarried women gather around the blindfolded bride who throws the bouquet - whoever catches it will be the next one to wed. The same applies when the groom throws the bride's garter to the men.

Finally, the newlyweds head for a hotel suite to spend their wedding night in luxury. An old tradition calls for the groom to hand a morning gift to his bride, usually jewelry. Nowadays brides have gifts for the grooms - both want to remember their first wedded morning.

Many couples take a honeymoon trip.

Be the wedding big or small, it remains a unique experience for the couple!

Male guests try to reach garter

Celine Chanut

French weddings are not very different from Chinese weddings in the way that everybody is sharing the newlyweds? happiness!

A typical wedding first includes celebrations at the city hall or church, second the drinks party with extended circles of family and friends, and finally the dinner including games and dance floor. It lasts mostly one day and one night, and sometimes on the next day, both families have brunch together.

The key point of French wedding is probably the dinner party! After the celebrations, people enjoy a delicious banquet lasting two to three hours in a castle or a beautiful house with a great environment for taking photos.

Relatives and close friends make speeches to express their love and friendship and may show a video of the bride and the groom?s life from childhood until they met, showing how they suit each other! Then, depending on the family?s background, there are games such as musical chairs, guessing games, drinking games, garter games and searching for the place where the newlyweds spend the night.

I?ve attended around 10 weddings and seen many practices that depend on social status, from a very high-standard classy one at St Tropez to middle class and rural ones in the countryside. Very high standard ones have forfeit games with drinking or dancing. In the middle range, the garter game is common. The bride wears a garter somewhere above the knee and stands on a table. Men have to give money for the bride to lift the dress higher and higher to reach the garter. The winner is the first to reach the garter. I saw one winner remove the garter with his teeth.

In rural areas, there are jokes and traditions like decorating the newlyweds? home with toilet paper. Once, when guests found out where the couple was spending their wedding night, the couple had to drink from a òchamber potó made of Champagne and frozen chocolate. Then everyone drank.

On leaving the church or city hall, a bride commonly tosses her wedding bouquet to single women. The one who catches it is supposed to be the next to wed.

Nowadays, getting married is not as crucial as it used to be. Most couples can live together without marriage. But when they do get married, the union is based on true love.

Gift exchange, white fans, cuttlefish

Takeshi Umemura

I went to graduate school in America and my wife Atsuko spent many years in the UK. However, we used a traditional wedding ceremony called Yuinou, which not many couples follow today.

Both families exchanged money and articles as tokens of the engagement in the ceremony. The interesting point is that the exchange was not only undertaken by my wife and me, but also by our families. This is because Japanese view marriage as a connection between families.

The entire transaction or engagement took place in my wife's home. Parents represented themselves directly, with the need for a mediator having diminished along with the decline of familial strength in Japan. However, Yuinou is still very much a family affair and the parents' attendance is obligatory. Both families presented each other with gifts. The custom derives from the Western practice of giving an engagement ring, to which the Japanese have added the notion of the exchange. In return for the ring, a bridegroom may receive a watch, a tiepin, cufflinks, or similar item from the bride. Both usually spend their own funds.

There are several gifts and the engagement rings in a formal Yuinou.

1. Kinpou: engagement gift money;

2. Naganoshi: smoothed dried clam, meaning longevity;

3. Tomo-shiraga: white linen thread, meaning living together until hair turns gray or white;

4. Suehiro: a pair of white fans, meaning hope that the family will flourish;

5. Surume: a dried cuttlefish. It keeps a long time and symbolizes forever;

6. Konbu: a pair of dried kelp, meaning blessing with healthy children;

7. Katsuo-bushi: a pair of dried bonito (dorsal aspect and abdominal meat), meaning a man's strength.

I gave my bride an engagement ring and she gave me a pair of watches. Later that day, we had our traditional wedding banquet with 300 guests, all were expected to bring money.

Lots of tradition and plenty of fun

Lisa Payne

When it comes to wedding customs in the United States, there is something interesting to mention.

The man has proposed by slipping a diamond engagement ring onto the third finger of his girlfriend's left hand. After shedding tears of happiness, all her thoughts turn to finding the perfect long, white wedding dress (white symbolizes the bride's purity and joy) and planning her wedding reception (yes, it?s a celebration of their union but the husband has very little say in most of the wedding details).

Invitations are mailed to the guests, an engagement party is held and if they can afford it, a wedding planner is hired to coordinate the event and ensure etiquette is followed. Who pays for what? The lines are no longer rigidly drawn. The burden of paying for the wedding has shifted in recent years from the family of the bride paying all expenses to sharing costs with the bridegroom's family. As many couples marrying later have money of their own, they are sharing in the expenses.

The groom selects a "best man" who really has no responsibility other than to throw a bachelor party. The bride selects a "maid of honor," usually her best friend or sister, whose primary duty is to plan a bridal shower. This is a small party several weeks before the wedding, attended by close female friends and relatives from both sides.

There is a tradition that brides should carry "something old, something new, something borrowed and something blue." Each item represents a good luck token for the bride. If she carries all of them on her wedding day, her marriage will be happy. "Something old" symbolizes continuity with the bride's family and the past. "Something new" means optimism and hope. "Something borrowed" is usually an item from a happily married friend or family member, whose good fortune is supposed to carry over to the new bride. Blue is associated with weddings.

Traditionally, guests give household items to help the couple set up house.

The couple often "registers" at several stores and selects the gift items they want such as china, silverware or bedding. Today, couples receive a range of gifts, even money.

The reception includes the bouquet and garter tosses, cake-cutting ceremony, Champagne toast and the couple's first dance. Etiquette is not so strict.

Mostly Western withtraditional touches

Henry Hong

Although South Koreans have kept several aspects of the traditional ceremony, most modern ceremonies are more Western than traditional.

Still, many folk villages and museums across the country regularly perform ceremonies to keep the traditions alive. Here?s an old-style marriage, some people still follow some of the old traditions.

Professional matchmakers pair up likely couples. The families consider many factors and consult fortune tellers about the couple?s future.

After the proposal is accepted, the bridegroom?s family prepares a Saju that specifies the year, month, date and exact hour of the groom's birth, according to the lunar calendar, and delivers it to the bride's family. It's on white paper, 40cm by 90cm, folded equally five times. It's placed in a white envelope, wrapped in bamboo leaves, then tied with red and blue thread. The whole package is wrapped with Sajubo cloth that's red inside and blue outside. The groom's family sends presents to the bride and her family in a box called Ham. The Hamjinabi, the person who delivers the Ham, and some of the groom's friends also deliver a gift pot of Bongchi Deok (red bean rice cake). The bride's family has a party for the group. Delivering the Ham has evolved into a major event, with male friends "selling" the contents of Ham to the bride's parents.

Traditionally, weddings take place at the bride's home. The groom rides a horse or pony and his attendants walk to the venue. Attendants play musical instruments, but the groom is supposed to remain solemn.

This might be the first time the bride and groom meet. Each has two attendants. The groom sits at the east side of the wedding, the bride at the west end, facing each other. Helpers wash the couple's hands in a cleansing ceremony. The bride bows twice to the groom, who bows back once to the bride. This is repeated, signifying commitment. They kneel and face each other.

After the wedding, the bride meets her parents-in-law, bowing to them four times and showing respect to her husband's family and ancestors. She presents a small gift of food.

The couple retires to a small bedroom that is auspiciously decorated. Relatives poke holes in the paper screens and watch what transpires. After three days, the couple goes to the groom's home.

Everyone joins a big fat Indian wedding

Meenakshi Rajan

Indians don't always see eye to eye with each other on everything. But when it comes to celebrating happiness, we all agree that the bigger, louder and costlier, the better. Whether it is a festival or a sporting victory, Indians go all out to express their joy with loudspeakers, firecrackers, colors and dancing in the streets. And in terms of sheer pomp and splendor, few things rival the big fat Indian wedding.

Unlike in other countries, a wedding is anything but a private affair here. In the thousands of small cities and towns dotting the map, any wedding that the entire neighborhood doesn't hear about (if not attend) is considered a wasted opportunity. And while the seemingly endless rituals and general chaos at such occasions may seem intrusive to foreigners, it is actually the Indian version of inclusiveness. A wedding is not about two people; it's about the community at large. Neighbors, servants, friends and everyone else pitch in to do their bit for the event. It is quite common for complete strangers to work together on the decoration, catering, seating and other arrangements. It's how they show their support to the bride or groom, depending whose side they are on.

Of course, it's tricky to generalize as to what a "typical" Indian wedding is like, since cultural, local, religious and family traditions and rituals differ hugely. As a Sikh from the northwestern state of Punjab, married to a Hindu from the southern state of Tamil Nadu, I have had occasion to observe two distinct ceremonies.

North Indian ceremonies typically have three stages. The first is the mehendi, where the bride and all the guests get henna put on their hands by professionals. Bangle, jewelry and saree sellers are also called to display their wares. The mehendi is followed by the engagement ceremony, which is an excuse for more music, dancing, gorging and more spending. The final event, the marriage ceremony, is mostly a religious ceremony where the bride and groom circle a holy fire seven times (each circle is called a phera), as a priest chants hymns and mantras.

By contrast, weddings in South India are shorter (just one day) and relatively simple. Mango leaves festoon the entrance to the marriage hall, the nadaswaram (a nasal-sounding wind instrument) stridently sets the mood and rosewater is sprinkled on attending guests. One interesting feature of South Indian (Tamil community) weddings is the Kasi yatra. The groom plays out a ritual where he forsakes material pleasures to become an ascetic, but is stopped by the bride's father, who convinces him of the benefits of married life. Needless to say, the groom accepts and makes what is hopefully the right decision: to go ahead with the wedding.

Today, most marriages are a combination of the traditional and modern. The rituals mirror the changes in society. For example, arranged marriages have today given way to love marriages, often with partners from a different linguistic or religious background. At such marriages, the ceremony accommodates the traditional rituals from the bride as well as groom's side. Modern additions to Indian weddings include cocktails (unthinkable a few decades ago, because of the alcohol) and guests wearing Western formals and evening gowns.

Similarly, many Indian marriages borrow heavily from the elaborate and slick portrayals of wedding celebrations in Bollywood films. Over centuries of coexistence, rituals of many faiths have mingled and with the added influence of popular cinema, Indian marriage ceremonies today are an eclectic, sometimes confused, mix of old and new. But no one's complaining.