Family loves ayi’s cooking
Print Edition
Jin Weiwen:
58, from Shanghai, former textile worker and shop assistant; 17 years with current family.
Employer:
Christina Decu (above) and husband Peter; children Alexandra, 16, Philip, 15, now at boarding school. Decu is an official with the German school. They family has had four ayis, including Jin.
When Decu was breast feeding her children, Jin made delicious steamed fish for her every other day because eating fish is a popular Chinese way of helping mothers produce milk.
“Philip loves braised duck with soy sauce; Alexandra loves her rice noodle, while I love the stir-fried snow peas best,” said Decu.
“Ayi likes to give us advice to stay healthy,” Alexandra said. “It’s usually the Chinese way and the advice is interesting. For example, she advised me not to eat anything cold or spicy during my period. All this is very helpful and we are used to it. Actually, we use traditional Chinese medicine 80 percent of the time.”
• Funniest moment
Decu: We have many funny memories but I like the memory of our first Christmas cookie baking session. The children, the ayi and I were chasing my husband, who was trying to steal the dough and decoration, out of the kitchen. It was a huge mess and ending up with all of us covered in flour.
• Worst moment
Decu: I normally do not fight with people, but one time I was very upset that a former ayi ironed my beautiful silk pleated skirt until there were no more pleats left. After calming down, I realized that maybe she had never seen a pleated skirt before and I hadn’t told her the skirt was supposed to look that way — so how could she have known? Still, the skirt was ruined.
• Little differences
Decu: When we put the baby to bed and the baby cries, Chinese people immediately pick up the baby and pat them on the back but we don’t do that. We leave them in the crib and soothe them on the belly with a hand. She respected our way.
I always told Jin not to clean up the children’s room, they should do it themselves. But when it gets too messy, Jin can’t help doing it for them.
We always respect each other and we respect that we are different. We embrace the difference.
• Bonding
When we have visitors from Germany, I always tell them ayi is like a Chinese grandma to my children. In fact, she’s closer to them than their real grandparents.
• Learning from ayi
Decu: Our ayi is very knowledgeable about various foods and Chinese medicine. I learned from her to eat certain foods in special times of the year and I do enjoy drinking hot water, although everybody back home thought this was very strange.
• Communication
Jin: I don’t speak much English and they didn’t speak much Chinese but we managed to understand each other, using gestures and other signs. If Christina wanted me to buy fruit, she used to show me wooden model of a pear or apple. Now I know the words.
• Employers from hell
Jin: In an earlier position, the wife was very mean to me, not even letting me use toilet paper. One Asian family demanded I be on hands and knees when cleaning the floor, which I could not accept. I know that (cleaning on all fours) was part of their culture, but I could never get used to it.
• Cooking
Jin: When Christina was pregnant and after she gave birth, I would cook for her. She loved my dishes, such as braised pork chop in soy sauce. I cook modified Shanghainese style, which is not so greasy. Western cooking is easier than Chinese. I watched Christina and picked it up right away.
• Children
Jin: The children loved to talk to me and cook with me. When they were small, I taught them Chinese and simple mathematics.
They’re both very lovely and thoughtful. They are like my grandchildren.
• Manners
Jin: Western people believe belching is extremely impolite, but blowing one’s nose is all right, which I find quite funny. In China, it’s quite rude to blow your nose in front of other people.
• Bonding
Jin: Seven years ago, after I had worked with them for 10 years, they took me to Germany, and it was all happy memories.
Everyone says I should retire and focus on my own family, But I want to be with them, especially the children back for summer holiday. I’m so happy to see them. It’s not about money anymore, but emotions and bonding.
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