Married couples bemoan their 'singles' lives
November 11, 2012, Sunday
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Print Edition
Print Edition
TODAY is "Singles Day" in China, marked by events aimed at China's millions of unattached men and women eager to end their singleton status.
But the November 11 festival - the four ones in the date resemble four "bare sticks," which means unattached in Chinese - is a bitterly ironic time for many Chinese. For while they are married, economic circumstances mean they must live apart from their loved ones.
IT company worker Chen Zhengming, 27, married his college sweetheart Liu Hui last year, but the young couple don't share a home.
Both live in Beijing, but Chen rents an apartment with three colleagues, while his wife lives in a dorm provided by her company. The couple see it as a way to save for buying a home.
"Our combined monthly salaries are 8,000 yuan (US$1,280) and we spend about 3,000 yuan on necessities and wire money home. We can't afford to rent an apartment if we want to buy our own home," Liu explained.
Chen admits the situation presents difficulties.
"We usually meet at weekends, but sometimes don't see each other for a fortnight due to working overtime," he said.
"And as I've roommates, my wife and I can only spend the night together in hotels, choosing cheap ones for about 200 yuan a night," Chen said.
Chen's plight is common in big cities like Beijing, Shanghai and Guangzhou, where high living costs and high house prices are a big obstacle for many.
Wang Xiaoling, an office worker in downtown Beijing, married four years ago and is now the father of a three-year-old girl. But his wife and daughter stay in Harbin, the capital of northeast China's Heilongjiang Province, due to the high living costs in Beijing.
"My annual salary is 80,000 yuan, far from enough to provide a comfortable life for the whole family here, and it's too risky for my wife to quit her job and come here," Wang said.
Experts say living apart is taking its toll on marriages.
"These couples report a higher divorce rate, as their emotional and physiological needs often go unsatisfied," said Zhao Yongjiu at a Beijing-based company that provides marriage consultations.
But Yan Shan, standing director of the China Social Work Association Working Committee on Marriage and Family, says the phenomenon is temporary.
"The government should continue to strengthen the economy, improve social welfare and balance regional development.
"Then couples won't have to live apart to balance marriage and finances," Yan said.
But the November 11 festival - the four ones in the date resemble four "bare sticks," which means unattached in Chinese - is a bitterly ironic time for many Chinese. For while they are married, economic circumstances mean they must live apart from their loved ones.
IT company worker Chen Zhengming, 27, married his college sweetheart Liu Hui last year, but the young couple don't share a home.
Both live in Beijing, but Chen rents an apartment with three colleagues, while his wife lives in a dorm provided by her company. The couple see it as a way to save for buying a home.
"Our combined monthly salaries are 8,000 yuan (US$1,280) and we spend about 3,000 yuan on necessities and wire money home. We can't afford to rent an apartment if we want to buy our own home," Liu explained.
Chen admits the situation presents difficulties.
"We usually meet at weekends, but sometimes don't see each other for a fortnight due to working overtime," he said.
"And as I've roommates, my wife and I can only spend the night together in hotels, choosing cheap ones for about 200 yuan a night," Chen said.
Chen's plight is common in big cities like Beijing, Shanghai and Guangzhou, where high living costs and high house prices are a big obstacle for many.
Wang Xiaoling, an office worker in downtown Beijing, married four years ago and is now the father of a three-year-old girl. But his wife and daughter stay in Harbin, the capital of northeast China's Heilongjiang Province, due to the high living costs in Beijing.
"My annual salary is 80,000 yuan, far from enough to provide a comfortable life for the whole family here, and it's too risky for my wife to quit her job and come here," Wang said.
Experts say living apart is taking its toll on marriages.
"These couples report a higher divorce rate, as their emotional and physiological needs often go unsatisfied," said Zhao Yongjiu at a Beijing-based company that provides marriage consultations.
But Yan Shan, standing director of the China Social Work Association Working Committee on Marriage and Family, says the phenomenon is temporary.
"The government should continue to strengthen the economy, improve social welfare and balance regional development.
"Then couples won't have to live apart to balance marriage and finances," Yan said.
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