Parental concern adding tension to family reunions
Source: Xinhua |
February 14, 2013, Thursday
|
Print Edition
Print Edition
MIGRANT worker Tu Jiani estimates she spent less than 24 hours chatting with relatives during the Spring Festival break.
The holiday is traditionally the most important time for family reunions, especially for those who work or live far from home.
More and more young people like 24-year-old Tu are working in cities. Tu's hometown in central China's Hunan Province is about 1,177 kilometers from Shanghai, where she works as a waitress.
But for young people who trekked across the country to visit their parents, face-to-face conversation with them may not have been the sweet experience they hoped for. With the age gap between parents and their kids increasingly translating into a chasm of different values and expectations, more and more young people are having an uncomfortable time during family visits.
Tu says her holiday was largely spent chatting with friends online, sending greeting messages and tweeting about the Spring Festival eve's gala show.
The Internet is not to blame, Tu says. Rather, it is the "interrogation" that parents spring on their children which is making conversation a tricky business.
A list of the 10 most awkward questions young people are likely to encounter when they see their relatives has been posted on weibo.com. They include queries about salaries and marital status.
The post has attracted 20,000 comments, many of them from people saying they felt suffocated by parents' overwhelming concern about their private lives.
Yang Yang, a 24-year-old undergraduate in Xi'an, says she grew frustrated when her mother expressed dissatisfaction with her boyfriend after asking about his salary and where he works.
"I think the difficulty in accepting my mom's opinion is that we are growing apart in terms of how I decide my own life, and they should live their own as well," says Yang.
She is one of the 1980s generation that are marrying late and postponing childbirth, an obvious source of tension with parents.
Zhu Ming, a marriage expert with the Shanghai women's federation, believes pressure of work, modern lifestyles and economic development are all contributing to people getting married later.
Zhou Yunzhu, born in 1991, used to consult her parents about problems when she was a freshman. Now, eying graduation in June, Zhou says she's reluctant to rush home because of her parents' questions about her future.
"The thought of being embarrassed, misunderstood and, what's worse, having their ideas imposed upon me really freaks me out," she says.
Zhao Changtian, editor of Mengya, a magazine aimed at children born in the 80s and 90s, says China is entering an era of intensifying family tensions.
"Communication between generations becomes fragile when the younger generation has seen and experienced a pace of change in society far faster than their parents," Zhao said.
The holiday is traditionally the most important time for family reunions, especially for those who work or live far from home.
More and more young people like 24-year-old Tu are working in cities. Tu's hometown in central China's Hunan Province is about 1,177 kilometers from Shanghai, where she works as a waitress.
But for young people who trekked across the country to visit their parents, face-to-face conversation with them may not have been the sweet experience they hoped for. With the age gap between parents and their kids increasingly translating into a chasm of different values and expectations, more and more young people are having an uncomfortable time during family visits.
Tu says her holiday was largely spent chatting with friends online, sending greeting messages and tweeting about the Spring Festival eve's gala show.
The Internet is not to blame, Tu says. Rather, it is the "interrogation" that parents spring on their children which is making conversation a tricky business.
A list of the 10 most awkward questions young people are likely to encounter when they see their relatives has been posted on weibo.com. They include queries about salaries and marital status.
The post has attracted 20,000 comments, many of them from people saying they felt suffocated by parents' overwhelming concern about their private lives.
Yang Yang, a 24-year-old undergraduate in Xi'an, says she grew frustrated when her mother expressed dissatisfaction with her boyfriend after asking about his salary and where he works.
"I think the difficulty in accepting my mom's opinion is that we are growing apart in terms of how I decide my own life, and they should live their own as well," says Yang.
She is one of the 1980s generation that are marrying late and postponing childbirth, an obvious source of tension with parents.
Zhu Ming, a marriage expert with the Shanghai women's federation, believes pressure of work, modern lifestyles and economic development are all contributing to people getting married later.
Zhou Yunzhu, born in 1991, used to consult her parents about problems when she was a freshman. Now, eying graduation in June, Zhou says she's reluctant to rush home because of her parents' questions about her future.
"The thought of being embarrassed, misunderstood and, what's worse, having their ideas imposed upon me really freaks me out," she says.
Zhao Changtian, editor of Mengya, a magazine aimed at children born in the 80s and 90s, says China is entering an era of intensifying family tensions.
"Communication between generations becomes fragile when the younger generation has seen and experienced a pace of change in society far faster than their parents," Zhao said.
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