Reign of little emperors may soon be over
Print Edition
After his mother had another child, 4-year-old Kaikai insisted his little brother be named “Duoduo,” meaning “extra.”
No longer the only “little emperor” of his family, Kaikai has to share his toys and is often wakened by his brother’s crying in the night. He can’t hide his resentment.
“I don’t like him, but I can’t bully him because he’s my brother,” Kaikai once told his parents when they found him hiding under a quilt, crying.
His pain astonished his mother, Zhang Weihua, who hadn’t expected sibling rivalry to be a problem.
Most parents worry about housing and education costs when planning a second child, but for a generation of parents raised as only children, raising siblings in harmony has become a challenge.
“I’m the emperor of my family. How can I allow another child to dethrone me?” asked 11-year-old Xiaoxiao, a fifth grader in Beijing, when she learned that her parents were thinking about another child after China relaxed its one-child policy.
Fear of losing their parents’ love is widespread among those who have been showered with attention as only children.
A primary school in south China’s Guangdong Province asked third-graders in a recent exam: “What would you say if your parents told you they hope to have one more baby in the family?”
The answers came in various forms, but all carried the same general sentiment: “Please don’t.”
“Mom, I don’t want you to go through a cesarean section, it’s too painful,” wrote one student.
“Raising another child will cost too much money. You will have a lot of pressure,” wrote another.
Some even worried that their parents wouldn’t save them from danger. “Because even if I die, they still have another,” one wrote.
Cong Zhongxiao, of the China National Children’s Center, said: “The resentment and conflict are not congenital. How the first child responds to the new baby depends on how parents respond and teach. The only way to remove their fear and upset is for them to feel they are loved and enable them to love others.”
Beijing TV recently debuted reality show “Second Child Time” to portray parent-child interactions after a second child is brought into the family of a celebrity.
The show topped audience ratings for new programs this year.
“The show is very enlightening. Single children were spoiled in families,” was one online comment. “We only children didn’t value sharing that much. But from this show, we find growing up is no longer lonely. Siblings are people you can share sorrow and happiness with.”
According to an old Chinese saying, an elder sibling should befriend the younger, while the latter should respect the former.
Xia Xueluan, professor of sociology from Peking University, said the country’s new two-child policy will help future generations revive brotherly love and see a return to the traditional culture.
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