Reign of little emperors may soon be over
Print Edition
After his mother had another child, 4-year-old Kaikai insisted his little brother be named 鈥淒uoduo,鈥 meaning 鈥渆xtra.鈥
No longer the only 鈥渓ittle emperor鈥 of his family, Kaikai has to share his toys and is often wakened by his brother鈥檚 crying in the night. He can鈥檛 hide his resentment.
鈥淚 don鈥檛 like him, but I can鈥檛 bully him because he鈥檚 my brother,鈥 Kaikai once told his parents when they found him hiding under a quilt, crying.
His pain astonished his mother, Zhang Weihua, who hadn鈥檛 expected sibling rivalry to be a problem.
Most parents worry about housing and education costs when planning a second child, but for a generation of parents raised as only children, raising siblings in harmony has become a challenge.
鈥淚鈥檓 the emperor of my family. How can I allow another child to dethrone me?鈥 asked 11-year-old Xiaoxiao, a fifth grader in Beijing, when she learned that her parents were thinking about another child after China relaxed its one-child policy.
Fear of losing their parents鈥 love is widespread among those who have been showered with attention as only children.
A primary school in south China鈥檚 Guangdong Province asked third-graders in a recent exam: 鈥淲hat would you say if your parents told you they hope to have one more baby in the family?鈥
The answers came in various forms, but all carried the same general sentiment: 鈥淧lease don鈥檛.鈥
鈥淢om, I don鈥檛 want you to go through a cesarean section, it鈥檚 too painful,鈥 wrote one student.
鈥淩aising another child will cost too much money. You will have a lot of pressure,鈥 wrote another.
Some even worried that their parents wouldn鈥檛 save them from danger. 鈥淏ecause even if I die, they still have another,鈥 one wrote.
Cong Zhongxiao, of the China National Children鈥檚 Center, said: 鈥淭he resentment and conflict are not congenital. How the first child responds to the new baby depends on how parents respond and teach. The only way to remove their fear and upset is for them to feel they are loved and enable them to love others.鈥
Beijing TV recently debuted reality show 鈥淪econd Child Time鈥 to portray parent-child interactions after a second child is brought into the family of a celebrity.
The show topped audience ratings for new programs this year.
鈥淭he show is very enlightening. Single children were spoiled in families,鈥 was one online comment. 鈥淲e only children didn鈥檛 value sharing that much. But from this show, we find growing up is no longer lonely. Siblings are people you can share sorrow and happiness with.鈥
According to an old Chinese saying, an elder sibling should befriend the younger, while the latter should respect the former.
Xia Xueluan, professor of sociology from Peking University, said the country鈥檚 new two-child policy will help future generations revive brotherly love and see a return to the traditional culture.
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