University opens up on seduction course
Print Edition
CHINESE university tutor Xie Shu’s core subject is Communist ideology, but he has diversified from the dry annals of political doctrine for a more hands-on subject: seduction.
His “Theory and Practice of Romantic Relations” course at Tianjin University includes lectures on pick-up techniques, self-presentation and how to entice the opposite sex.
“How should you react when you’ve been rejected?” Xie asked his young charges at one lecture, in a cafe on the campus in the northern port city. “Clearly, don’t throw the roses that you bought the girl at her — keep calm.”
Tianjin University has integrated such a course into its curriculum, giving students credit toward their degrees for attending.
At the CAMPUS cafe Xie flipped through Powerpoint slides, showing the boys how to “upgrade their look” by avoiding “tank tops and long shorts,” and urging them not to “ask girls questions like it’s a police investigation.”
“Be courteous. Serve the girl before yourself. But don’t go overboard, either,” he advised.
His female charges, he suggested, should run their hands through their hair and “look the boy in the eye even if they feel intimidated.”
Sitting towards the back of the pack, Qian Zijun, 23, who has never had a relationship, diligently typed up the teacher’s advice on her laptop. “When I learned that a class like this existed, I thought it was incredible,” she said.
Xie occupies a particularly Chinese academic role as a fudaoyuan, who instructs students in Marxism-Leninism-Mao Zedong thought as well as social counselling, but his authority on the issue of relationships is open to question.
He is single, he admitted sheepishly. “I don’t have a wife or a girlfriend,” he laughed, “which is a bit embarrassing.”
Many young Chinese entering university have little practical experience in matters of the heart.
Conservative attitudes are widespread and most simply have not had time to date in high school, due to the intensive study necessary to pass the “gaokao” exam, which determines college placement and is seen as a key to one’s future.
Parents generally frown upon relationships that might distract their children from their all-important studies.
As soon as students graduate from university, however, the opposite becomes true: families often push for them to marry quite quickly — preferably before 27 for girls and before 30 for boys — prolonged singledom can prompt taunts, concerns, and unrelenting pressure.
“Thanks to its high-speed development of the past 30 years, China is not only in a state of economic transition, but also a romantic one,” said Pan Xingzhi, a high-profile Chinese relationship counsellor. “Girls, in particular, often don’t know how to balance their feelings and outside expectations.”
The Tianjin program is the brainchild of Wang Rui, 23, the co-founder of a student social club at the university.
“Some students are desperate to have an experience while in university, at any cost, no matter with whom,” she said. “But we teach a correct take on love.”
Other than flirtation, the course includes seven other sessions on topics ranging from the psychological to the pragmatic, with titles such as “Before You Love Others, You Must Love Yourself” and “The Legal Problems of Romantic Relationships.”
But sex is not on the curriculum. “We don’t teach the students to kiss; just how to break the ice,” Xie said.
Even so student Wang Huan, 22, welcomed Xie’s classes. “Before I went to university, my parents refused to allow me to have a boyfriend,” she explained.
“When you have no experience, the main source of information about love is South Korean TV dramas.”
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