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Getting beyond traumatic change
By Wu Jiayin |
March 7, 2009, Saturday
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Print Edition
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WHEN faced with a shocking change such as loss of a job, separation or serious injury, some people become overwhelmed, devastated, paralyzed, unable to move on.
Being overwhelmed can be destructive and must be overcome, according to Ann Salerno and Lillie Brock in their book "The Change Cycle.''
A report by Reuters last month said that suicides have increased in Asia as a result of the worsening financial crisis.
Due to plunging stock markets and the collapse of investment funds, millions of people in Asia have lost their jobs, and retirees and small investors have lost their life savings.
"Work is very important to the Asian because we don't have very good social security and losing one's job is associated with the loss of 'face'. So the trauma can be great," said Paul Yip, a mental health and suicide prevention specialist in Hong Kong.
In such cases, how one approaches the change can mean the difference between life and death.
The authors agree: "Our attitude in change is either the key to a locked door, or a spring that makes an open door slam in our faces. It's our responsibility to choose well."
To help people survive and thrive in such changes, they present a six-step cycle of change. It's a simple, useful way to understand how one's emotions work during such changes and what one needs to do to get life back on track after massive change. They offer real-life stories to illustrate.
The six stages: adapting to new realities, moving away from doubt and anger, getting motivated, taking action, realizing how conquering change benefited you and brought out your best qualities, and integrating change.
The first three stages mainly aim at helping people to adjust their feelings from destructive to constructive, while the rest guide people toward taking on new tasks and challenges to move through the change cycle successfully.
At a big negative change, many people tend to lose their sense of security or even their feelings of self-worth at first. Then they may feel angry that they must deal with all the difficulties caused by the change. Some continue to wish that things were different.
These unchecked feelings can cause trouble; the authors advise accepting reality rather than acting rashly or getting frozen, paralyzed.
To relieve your anxiety, eat well, rest, exercise and have fun.
The key to getting out of the change, according to the authors, is to go through it by choosing your direction and ultimate goal. Knowing where you are heading not only gives you a sense of security, but also allows you to regain confidence about your future.
A positive attitude about the future prepares you for the rest of the stages that lead you to success.
"Having thought the thought, it's time to walk the walk. You're ready to meet job challenges brought about by the change. You're ready ... to dive in,'' as the authors say.
Use the energy that you once wasted in being anxious, frightened and worried to act positively and constructively in achieving your ultimate goal.
Sometimes changing direction can be very healthy.
For example, Christopher Reeve, once a handsome leading actor, was left paralyzed in a horseback-riding accident. Instead of giving up, he changed his career to directing films and devoted himself to helping those with similar spinal cord injuries.
Once you've fixed your new direction, work hard on it.
The fruits of your work in turn increase your confidence in your ability to handle changes and prepare you to better deal with future changes.
Being overwhelmed can be destructive and must be overcome, according to Ann Salerno and Lillie Brock in their book "The Change Cycle.''
A report by Reuters last month said that suicides have increased in Asia as a result of the worsening financial crisis.
Due to plunging stock markets and the collapse of investment funds, millions of people in Asia have lost their jobs, and retirees and small investors have lost their life savings.
"Work is very important to the Asian because we don't have very good social security and losing one's job is associated with the loss of 'face'. So the trauma can be great," said Paul Yip, a mental health and suicide prevention specialist in Hong Kong.
In such cases, how one approaches the change can mean the difference between life and death.
The authors agree: "Our attitude in change is either the key to a locked door, or a spring that makes an open door slam in our faces. It's our responsibility to choose well."
To help people survive and thrive in such changes, they present a six-step cycle of change. It's a simple, useful way to understand how one's emotions work during such changes and what one needs to do to get life back on track after massive change. They offer real-life stories to illustrate.
The six stages: adapting to new realities, moving away from doubt and anger, getting motivated, taking action, realizing how conquering change benefited you and brought out your best qualities, and integrating change.
The first three stages mainly aim at helping people to adjust their feelings from destructive to constructive, while the rest guide people toward taking on new tasks and challenges to move through the change cycle successfully.
At a big negative change, many people tend to lose their sense of security or even their feelings of self-worth at first. Then they may feel angry that they must deal with all the difficulties caused by the change. Some continue to wish that things were different.
These unchecked feelings can cause trouble; the authors advise accepting reality rather than acting rashly or getting frozen, paralyzed.
To relieve your anxiety, eat well, rest, exercise and have fun.
The key to getting out of the change, according to the authors, is to go through it by choosing your direction and ultimate goal. Knowing where you are heading not only gives you a sense of security, but also allows you to regain confidence about your future.
A positive attitude about the future prepares you for the rest of the stages that lead you to success.
"Having thought the thought, it's time to walk the walk. You're ready to meet job challenges brought about by the change. You're ready ... to dive in,'' as the authors say.
Use the energy that you once wasted in being anxious, frightened and worried to act positively and constructively in achieving your ultimate goal.
Sometimes changing direction can be very healthy.
For example, Christopher Reeve, once a handsome leading actor, was left paralyzed in a horseback-riding accident. Instead of giving up, he changed his career to directing films and devoted himself to helping those with similar spinal cord injuries.
Once you've fixed your new direction, work hard on it.
The fruits of your work in turn increase your confidence in your ability to handle changes and prepare you to better deal with future changes.
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