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When home is not where the heart is
Source: Xinhua |
July 8, 2013, Monday
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HUANG Mingzhen goes home once every three weeks, only to see the sullen, expressionless face of his 13-year-old son.
"He's been like this since he was brought home in 2009," said Huang, 42. "He rarely talks to me."
The boy, Huang Bo, went missing near the family home in Du'an County in south China's Guangxi Zhuang Autonomous Region in July 2005. Huang and his wife searched every corner of the county in the next four years, but to no avail.
Toward the end of 2009, police told them the boy had been sold to the eastern province of Fujian, but that he would be returned home.
The reunion, however, did not turn out to be a "happily ever after" tale. The youngster, now speaking standard Mandarin instead of his Guangxi dialect, often sits in silence, shedding tears and missing his "family" in Fujian.
The couple who bought the boy from child traffickers treated him well, and he had forgotten all about his biological parents during the four years he spent in Fujian. After he was returned to Guangxi, the boy insisted he would keep in touch with the couple who bought him. "I said no, and he burst into tears," said his mother Su Qingfeng.
Eventually, Su and her husband had to give in. The "father" from Fujian came to visit them once. Huang Bo appeared to love him more than his biological parents, and cried desperately when the man had to leave.
"He's been home for more than three years, but it's still difficult to approach him," Su said. "His teacher said he could not concentrate in class. His mind is apparently on something else."
The boy feels lonely in his new environment. He has no friends and is reluctant to meet new people.
There are many stories like Huang Bo's.
"Go to bed on time, whether we're home or not."
"Do not stay out late, or you'll face the consequences."
"Just behave yourself."
Handwritten notes like these are posted on walls and furniture in the shabby one-bedroom apartment Li Yilong shares with his parents in Guangxi's Nandan County. This is the only mode of communication between the parents and their child.
Like Huang Bo, Li Yilong was abducted and sold to Fujian. That happened in 2006, when he was just four years old.
The vivacious preschooler became taciturn after police took him home in the summer of 2010. "I know for sure he's my son, but he's more like a stranger," said his father Li Minghuan. "He often cries and refuses to do what we tell him to do."
The couple carefully block out any information about his other "parents." "We hope he'll soon become an integral part of our family and recognize us as his only parents," said his father. But he is not certain when this familiar stranger will open up to him, or even call him "dad."
While it is hard for children to shake off the nightmare of being abducted, being forcibly separated from their new families - mostly childless couples who cherish these children as their own - can be a painful experience.
The Ministry of Public Security launched a campaign in April 2009 to bring abducted children home. By the end of last year, police had busted 11,000 child trafficking rings and returned 54,000 children.
Experts say psychological counseling is essential for these children.
"The situation is more worrying among older children who have become affectionate with their foster parents," said Ye Weiwei, who works for China Charities Aid Foundation for Children.
"Their psychological problems are often neglected when all of society celebrates their family reunions, as if this were the end of their tragedies."
According to a survey by Baobeihuijia.com, China's largest non-government website dedicated to bringing abducted children home, 90 percent of young victims were kidnapped as a result of the negligence of their caretakers, and 50 percent of abducted children came from rural families in which at least one parent was working in a faraway city.
"Most children were abducted between the ages of 3 and 6 and brought home at 8, 10 or even older," said Zhou Jian, a counselor in Guangxi.
"They have very faint memories of their biological parents, and when they are brought back, they have reached an age of juvenile defiance. Their crises would be worse if they were forced to adapt to a totally new environment where living conditions were worse than what their foster parents could offer."
Under such circumstances, it is extremely important for their parents to enhance their family cohesion and restore a sense of intimacy with the children, "preferably with the help of professional psychologists," Zhou said.
However, many of these families live in remote mountain regions, without access to much-needed counseling services.
"Some non-government organizations have launched aid programs to help these families, but government coordination is essential for visiting all abducted children and resolving their psychological handicaps," said Meng Zhan, a child protection official in Guangxi's Hechi City.
"After their children's return, parents tend to be overly sensitive and issue strict rules, fearing their children might be abducted again," said Professor Zhou Xiaozheng of Renmin University of China in Beijing.
The children will only feel safer if they are living happily in a loving environment, he said.
"He's been like this since he was brought home in 2009," said Huang, 42. "He rarely talks to me."
The boy, Huang Bo, went missing near the family home in Du'an County in south China's Guangxi Zhuang Autonomous Region in July 2005. Huang and his wife searched every corner of the county in the next four years, but to no avail.
Toward the end of 2009, police told them the boy had been sold to the eastern province of Fujian, but that he would be returned home.
The reunion, however, did not turn out to be a "happily ever after" tale. The youngster, now speaking standard Mandarin instead of his Guangxi dialect, often sits in silence, shedding tears and missing his "family" in Fujian.
The couple who bought the boy from child traffickers treated him well, and he had forgotten all about his biological parents during the four years he spent in Fujian. After he was returned to Guangxi, the boy insisted he would keep in touch with the couple who bought him. "I said no, and he burst into tears," said his mother Su Qingfeng.
Eventually, Su and her husband had to give in. The "father" from Fujian came to visit them once. Huang Bo appeared to love him more than his biological parents, and cried desperately when the man had to leave.
"He's been home for more than three years, but it's still difficult to approach him," Su said. "His teacher said he could not concentrate in class. His mind is apparently on something else."
The boy feels lonely in his new environment. He has no friends and is reluctant to meet new people.
There are many stories like Huang Bo's.
"Go to bed on time, whether we're home or not."
"Do not stay out late, or you'll face the consequences."
"Just behave yourself."
Handwritten notes like these are posted on walls and furniture in the shabby one-bedroom apartment Li Yilong shares with his parents in Guangxi's Nandan County. This is the only mode of communication between the parents and their child.
Like Huang Bo, Li Yilong was abducted and sold to Fujian. That happened in 2006, when he was just four years old.
The vivacious preschooler became taciturn after police took him home in the summer of 2010. "I know for sure he's my son, but he's more like a stranger," said his father Li Minghuan. "He often cries and refuses to do what we tell him to do."
The couple carefully block out any information about his other "parents." "We hope he'll soon become an integral part of our family and recognize us as his only parents," said his father. But he is not certain when this familiar stranger will open up to him, or even call him "dad."
While it is hard for children to shake off the nightmare of being abducted, being forcibly separated from their new families - mostly childless couples who cherish these children as their own - can be a painful experience.
The Ministry of Public Security launched a campaign in April 2009 to bring abducted children home. By the end of last year, police had busted 11,000 child trafficking rings and returned 54,000 children.
Experts say psychological counseling is essential for these children.
"The situation is more worrying among older children who have become affectionate with their foster parents," said Ye Weiwei, who works for China Charities Aid Foundation for Children.
"Their psychological problems are often neglected when all of society celebrates their family reunions, as if this were the end of their tragedies."
According to a survey by Baobeihuijia.com, China's largest non-government website dedicated to bringing abducted children home, 90 percent of young victims were kidnapped as a result of the negligence of their caretakers, and 50 percent of abducted children came from rural families in which at least one parent was working in a faraway city.
"Most children were abducted between the ages of 3 and 6 and brought home at 8, 10 or even older," said Zhou Jian, a counselor in Guangxi.
"They have very faint memories of their biological parents, and when they are brought back, they have reached an age of juvenile defiance. Their crises would be worse if they were forced to adapt to a totally new environment where living conditions were worse than what their foster parents could offer."
Under such circumstances, it is extremely important for their parents to enhance their family cohesion and restore a sense of intimacy with the children, "preferably with the help of professional psychologists," Zhou said.
However, many of these families live in remote mountain regions, without access to much-needed counseling services.
"Some non-government organizations have launched aid programs to help these families, but government coordination is essential for visiting all abducted children and resolving their psychological handicaps," said Meng Zhan, a child protection official in Guangxi's Hechi City.
"After their children's return, parents tend to be overly sensitive and issue strict rules, fearing their children might be abducted again," said Professor Zhou Xiaozheng of Renmin University of China in Beijing.
The children will only feel safer if they are living happily in a loving environment, he said.
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