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Bad behavior is trending online, emulated in life
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Young children know that name-calling is wrong. Tweens are taught the perils of online bullying and revenge porn: It鈥檚 unacceptable and potentially illegal.
But celebrities who engage in flagrant attacks on social media are rewarded with worldwide attention. US President Donald Trump鈥檚 most popular tweet to date is a video that shows him fake-pummeling a personification of CNN. Reality TV star Rob Kardashian was trending last week after attacking his former fiance on Instagram in a flurry of posts so explicit his account was shut down. He continued the attacks on Twitter, where he has more than 7.6 million followers.
While public interest in bad behavior is nothing new, social media has created a vast new venue for incivility to be expressed, witnessed and shared. And experts say it鈥檚 affecting social interactions in real life.
鈥淥ver time, the attitudes and behaviors that we are concerned with right now in social media will bleed out into the physical world,鈥 said Karen North, a psychologist and director of the University of Southern California鈥檚 Digital Social Media Program. 鈥淲e鈥檙e supposed to learn to be polite and civil in society. But what we have right now is a situation where a number of role models are acting the opposite of that ... And by watching it, we vicariously feel it, and our own attitudes and behaviors change as a result.鈥
Catherine Steiner-Adair, a psychologist, said she鈥檚 already seeing the effects. She said she鈥檚 been confronted by students across the country asking why celebrities and political leaders are allowed to engage in name-calling and other activities for which they would be punished.
On some middle-school campuses, 鈥淭rumping鈥 means to grab a girl鈥檚 rear end, she said. And teenagers have killed themselves over the kind of slut-shaming and exposure of private images Kardashian leveled at Blac Chyna, with whom he has an infant daughter.
鈥淲e are normalizing behaviors, and it鈥檚 affecting some kids,鈥 Steiner-Adair said. 鈥淎nd what鈥檚 affecting kids that is profound is their mistrust of grown-ups who are behaving so badly. Why aren鈥檛 they stopping this?鈥
Social media satisfies a human need for connection. Users bond over common interests and establish digital relationships with their favorite public figures, following and commenting on their lives just like they do their friends鈥.
Gossip is a bonding activity, and it doesn鈥檛 take a Real Housewife to know people love to share dirt about others鈥 perceived misdeeds. Collective disapproval creates a feeling of community, regardless of which side you鈥檙e on. Having a common enemy is 鈥渙ne of the strongest bonding factors in human nature,鈥 North said.
Studies show that young people who witness aggressive behavior in adults model and expand on that behavior. She pointed to Stanford University psychologist Albert Bandura鈥檚 famous 鈥淏obo Doll Experiment,鈥 which found that kids who saw adults hit a doll in frustration not only hit the doll as well, but attacked it with weapons. Social media is an atmosphere devoid of the social cues that mitigate behavior in real life, she said. When violating social norms in person, there鈥檚 immediate feedback from others through body language and tone of voice. No such indicators exist online, and retweets can feel like validation.
Cruel and humiliating posts often become 鈥渁n instant hit online,鈥 Steiner-Adair said. 鈥淚t鈥檚 one of the best ways to become popular.鈥
Viral posts then get mainstream media attention, spreading digital nastiness into everyday conversation.
By not expressly rejecting cruel or hateful online behavior, 鈥渨e are creating a bystander culture where people think this is funny,鈥 she said.
鈥淲hen we tolerate leaders 鈥 in the popular media like a Kardashian, or a president 鈥 behaving in this way, we are creating a very dangerous petri dish for massive cultural change,鈥 Steiner-Adair said. Young people, who may be the most plugged in, are getting mixed messages as they form their moral concepts.
鈥淚t behooves us all to question why we are participating in this mob of reactivity,鈥 Steiner-Adair said, 鈥渁nd what are the character traits we need to model for our children.鈥
The author is a writer at AP.
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