Home » Opinion » Foreign Views
In defense of wedding guest who bore good wishes, not cold cash
By Frank Jiang |
July 12, 2010, Monday
|
Print Edition
Print Edition
TRADITIONAL Chinese wedding customs require giving gifts - almost always money - to the newlyweds.
Not to give cash is to give offense. This ossified tradition was defied recently by a man in Chongqing who attended a wedding but bore no gift of money, instead a card that read: "Congratulations on your marriage. This card invites you to attend my own wedding celebrations without having to present any money."
Blasphemous words. Older people slammed his behavior as swindling good friends and showing disrespect to the couple. But for low- to middle-income earners who must attend several weddings in a year, following the tradition of bestowing money on the newlyweds is a big drain on the budget. On the other hand, not presenting money may result in the loss of dear friends.
The issue is polarizing.
So the recent act of extending congratulations and warm wishes - and not expecting money at one's own wedding - is a creative attempt to strike a balance.
On moral, economic and social grounds, this kind of behavior is more valuable and meaningful than giving money. Money isn't everything. Maybe it's time to reconsider traditional customs that place undue burdens on friends.
When you put a price on a relationship, substance lags very far behind.
If giving huge sums of money to newlyweds is a sign of respect, friendship and appreciation, then what kind of a friendship is it?
A relationship founded on material measures is only an illusion, not the real thing.
What's more, when one is struggling under the burden of mortgages, bills and various fees, paying additional money as a wedding gift can be almost financial suicide. You'll be bankrupt before the next paycheck arrives.
To avoid financial woes but to maintain friendship, understanding friends can mutually agree to waive money gifts at each others' weddings.
(Frank Jiang is an Australian student in Shanghai.)
Not to give cash is to give offense. This ossified tradition was defied recently by a man in Chongqing who attended a wedding but bore no gift of money, instead a card that read: "Congratulations on your marriage. This card invites you to attend my own wedding celebrations without having to present any money."
Blasphemous words. Older people slammed his behavior as swindling good friends and showing disrespect to the couple. But for low- to middle-income earners who must attend several weddings in a year, following the tradition of bestowing money on the newlyweds is a big drain on the budget. On the other hand, not presenting money may result in the loss of dear friends.
The issue is polarizing.
So the recent act of extending congratulations and warm wishes - and not expecting money at one's own wedding - is a creative attempt to strike a balance.
On moral, economic and social grounds, this kind of behavior is more valuable and meaningful than giving money. Money isn't everything. Maybe it's time to reconsider traditional customs that place undue burdens on friends.
When you put a price on a relationship, substance lags very far behind.
If giving huge sums of money to newlyweds is a sign of respect, friendship and appreciation, then what kind of a friendship is it?
A relationship founded on material measures is only an illusion, not the real thing.
What's more, when one is struggling under the burden of mortgages, bills and various fees, paying additional money as a wedding gift can be almost financial suicide. You'll be bankrupt before the next paycheck arrives.
To avoid financial woes but to maintain friendship, understanding friends can mutually agree to waive money gifts at each others' weddings.
(Frank Jiang is an Australian student in Shanghai.)
- About Us
- |
- Terms of Use
- |
-
RSS - |
- Privacy Policy
- |
- Contact Us
- |
- Shanghai Call Center: 962288
- |
- Tip-off hotline: 52920043
- 沪ICP证：沪ICP备05050403号-1
- |
- 互联网新闻信息服务许可证：31120180004
- |
- 网络视听许可证：0909346
- |
- 广播电视节目制作许可证：沪字第354号
- |
- 增值电信业务经营许可证：沪B2-20120012
Copyright © 1999- Shanghai Daily. All rights reserved.Preferably viewed with Internet Explorer 8 or newer browsers.
