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Obsessing on 'lost' gold can lead to blues
By Tseng Tan |
August 8, 2012, Wednesday
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WHO is happier? The silver medalist or bronze medalist?
On Monday, young Chinese weight lifter Wu Jingbiao said "sorry" three times in tears after he lost the gold medal he had been confident about winning. (Shanghai Daily August, 2012, quoting People's Daily online edition).
The reason is an emotional reaction that social psychologists called "cunterfactual reasoning," a mental process of evaluating the past and reflecting on what it might have been. In the S1992 summer Olympics in Barcelona, Spain, researchers videotaped the behavior of silver and bronze medal winners, immediately after the event and after receiving the awards.
All too frequently, silver medalists were engaged in "if only" thinking. Instead of focusing on the fact that they were the second best, they tended to focus on the loss of the gold medal.
In comparison, Feng TianWei of Singapore, who won the bronze medal in women's table tennis, would be focusing on what would have happened if she had lost to Ishikawa of Japan - no medal and no financial award of US$125,000. In this case, the comparison is downward.
Dilemmas in life
In life, we are frequently confronted with dilemmas - who to associate with, which direction to take in careers, which elective options to study for a degree program and a host of various actions and journeys to undertake. Chances are that some will live up to our expectations, but not necessarily with the frequency that is comfortable to us.
We cannot avoid reminiscing about the past, even when we want to move on to new things or situations.
In individuals who persistently ponder on the negative results in their lives, this rumination can lead to depression, note social psychologists (Lyubomirsky et al). However, "if only" thinking is useful if it helps individuals to identify and overcome the weaknesses of the past.
Young entrepreneurs
Last Friday, I took a 20-minute drive to a non-air-conditioned food court to purchase a kilo of baked carrot cake from two young 24-year-old entrepreneurs. I have read that the lady,Sharon, is a first-class honors degree holder from NUS and the guy, Siimon, has bravely dropped out of the double degree in computing and mathematics.
While they are living their dreams, using their own savings, in the humid environment, baking carrot cakes and muffins, their peers are earning more in comfortable office settings.
I wish Sharon and Simon all the success in this venture and admire their youthful courage. So intent are they on manning the stall to success, they do not have the luxury at the moment to indulge in rumination. "If only" thoughts can wait.
Tseng Tan is a senior human resources consultant in Singapore.
On Monday, young Chinese weight lifter Wu Jingbiao said "sorry" three times in tears after he lost the gold medal he had been confident about winning. (Shanghai Daily August, 2012, quoting People's Daily online edition).
The reason is an emotional reaction that social psychologists called "cunterfactual reasoning," a mental process of evaluating the past and reflecting on what it might have been. In the S1992 summer Olympics in Barcelona, Spain, researchers videotaped the behavior of silver and bronze medal winners, immediately after the event and after receiving the awards.
All too frequently, silver medalists were engaged in "if only" thinking. Instead of focusing on the fact that they were the second best, they tended to focus on the loss of the gold medal.
In comparison, Feng TianWei of Singapore, who won the bronze medal in women's table tennis, would be focusing on what would have happened if she had lost to Ishikawa of Japan - no medal and no financial award of US$125,000. In this case, the comparison is downward.
Dilemmas in life
In life, we are frequently confronted with dilemmas - who to associate with, which direction to take in careers, which elective options to study for a degree program and a host of various actions and journeys to undertake. Chances are that some will live up to our expectations, but not necessarily with the frequency that is comfortable to us.
We cannot avoid reminiscing about the past, even when we want to move on to new things or situations.
In individuals who persistently ponder on the negative results in their lives, this rumination can lead to depression, note social psychologists (Lyubomirsky et al). However, "if only" thinking is useful if it helps individuals to identify and overcome the weaknesses of the past.
Young entrepreneurs
Last Friday, I took a 20-minute drive to a non-air-conditioned food court to purchase a kilo of baked carrot cake from two young 24-year-old entrepreneurs. I have read that the lady,Sharon, is a first-class honors degree holder from NUS and the guy, Siimon, has bravely dropped out of the double degree in computing and mathematics.
While they are living their dreams, using their own savings, in the humid environment, baking carrot cakes and muffins, their peers are earning more in comfortable office settings.
I wish Sharon and Simon all the success in this venture and admire their youthful courage. So intent are they on manning the stall to success, they do not have the luxury at the moment to indulge in rumination. "If only" thoughts can wait.
Tseng Tan is a senior human resources consultant in Singapore.
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