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January 29, 2014

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Adjusting took attitude change

Being 13 is hard enough but being “the new kid” in a new school in a new country was more than I had ever had to handle.

Though I had traveled a lot with my family, China was my first international move and my first time living outside of New York City. The first few weeks were full of excitement as I explored my new home, but soon after I began to miss my home city. Everyone else had friends — it was the middle of the year, just after Christmas break. I made a decision that if I isolated myself and hid in my cave I could keep my old home alive within me and deny the fact that I had to build a new life. By doing this I felt that maybe, just maybe, I could avoid all the changes I had to go through.

Living in denial catches up with you fast. Soon I found myself unhappy, alone and not even bothering to make friends. I had moved into the anger phase. I began to not want to leave my room. My favorite place was to be wrapped in my fuzzy blue blanket from my old home. Homework was something I no longer found important and if I did any, I gave it minimum effort.

After a couple months, I talked to a teacher who made a big difference. All I had heard from other adults was “Make friends” or, “You are so lucky, it is selfish for you to be upset.” This one teacher was honest; she told me that part of me was going to miss home and that was OK but isolating myself was not going to make me happy. All I could do was make the best of every moment and live to the fullest. Using this advice I emerged from my cave and strived to make friends and experience a new culture that I grew to love. As the spring rolled in and Shanghai began to warm up, so did my outlook on life.

 


 

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