THE Internet is emerging as a new base for young mothers to share their baby care experience and help each other, instead of relying on experts or doctors.

The latest survey among China's 1,285 pregnant women and mothers of children six years old or younger about their child-rearing methods reveals that mothers trust and are influenced by each other rather than traditional advertising; and they like to share their experience and ask other mothers for child care help via cyber space instead of consulting doctors first.

The survey, conducted by the country's largest child care website babytree.com and an international early-child education provider Gymboree, shows that 88 percent of mothers would recommend products they've tried to others and about half of them share information with mummy netizens.

More than 40 percent of mothers obtain the child-rearing information and knowledge from professional mother-and-baby websites.

About 57 percent of post-80s mothers, or young moms born during the 1980s, are sharing their personal child-rearing diaries on blogs. Almost 60 percent are spending time everyday on online child care forums and communities, chatting with other mothers and helping each other.

"I bought two books after I got pregnant, but I found them so professional and boring that I couldn't understand them at all. So I turned to the Internet and it gave me lots of practical and easy-to-understand information," says Hu Lingling, the mother of an 18-month-old child. Through cyber space, she learned the do's and don'ts during pregnancy, how to get back in shape after the delivery and how to rear a child.

Since her child was born, the first thing Hu does whenever she encounters a problem is to check on the Internet. "What to do if the color of my child's excrement is weird, if my baby doesn't sleep well, if he vomits after a meal - I can get the solutions easily and most of the time, they are practical and correct," Hu says.

The Internet has become an indispensable part of these mothers' lives and online shopping is one of their favorite aspects. Up to 88 percent have purchased child care products online during the past three months and 52 percent have joined the group-buying trend and become a big fan of it, while 39 percent intend to take part in it.

Mothers' experience beats traditional advertising, the survey reveals. More than 60 percent would follow fellow mothers' opinions when deciding on which milk powders, diapers, toys and early-child education brands to buy.

They are more willing to accept the advice given by other mothers from Internet forums, blogs and communities, instead of media advertisements and even expert recommendations.

Many experienced mothers become opinion leaders and exert great influence over others. A famous mother, who names herself "Mom Zaizai" on the Internet, once recommended on her blog a dish that dispelled her baby's inner heat. More than 50 mothers responded with messages asking where they could buy the ingredients and how to make the dish.

Mothers organize group-buying events on the Internet, an increasingly popular way to purchase cheap and quality baby-care products. On babytree.com, information about collective-buying diapers attracted more than 500 mothers in one day.

The survey also shows some other interesting statistics. Most of the post-80s mothers polled are the only child in their families because they are among the first generation born after the one-child policy was initiated in the late 1970s.

It indicates that more than 38 percent are willing to have a second child, among whom 83 percent say they simply don't want their children to grow up as lonely as they were.

It also reveals that among up to 60 percent of the families polled, grandparents are taking care of children during the daytime and mothers accompany their kids after work, while paternal care, most moms think, is always absent. Spread the goodwill to all school staff

For international schools throughout Shanghai, it has been a season of giving and caring about our communities. Holiday charity concerts, food and clothing drives and a plethora of other events facilitating goodwill have dotted school calendars this month. As the New Year approaches, there is much to feel good about. The state of school service projects in our community of schools is something to celebrate, but let's not pat ourselves on the back quite yet.

A story recently recounted by a local expatriate teacher prevents me from rejoicing too quickly. Arriving to work at her international school one morning, she realized that she had accidentally discarded an important document the evening before. Hoping to find it, she asked to see an ayi. She was led around the back of the school to a one-room, shack-like structure, where, she was told, some of the ayis lived. The embarrassed ayis she found sleeping there were immediately helpful, taking her to the area on campus where yesterday's garbage had been discarded and helped her sift through it until the document was found. Although the ayis were confused by the teacher's very Western outburst of gratitude, they found pleasure in the personal relationship that developed from this incident. Having small-talk with, and being greeted by, a teacher in front of the students and other staff clearly makes a difference to their days.

This, too, has all the trappings of a feel-good tale, but it also reveals something deeper. As we strive to promote goodwill throughout the city, many of the people whose service we depend upon daily live in conditions and make do on wages that would put them well below the poverty line in many of our home countries, if not in our host land.

Admittedly, a charity drive for the likes of school ayis, gardeners and security personnel might not be able to galvanize the support of a school community, and I would hesitate to suggest such a venture. It would not be as appealing as offering support for charity favorites such as orphanages, migrant workers or senior citizens' homes. It could risk being perceived as condescending and organizationally self-serving by supplementing the wages of employees at the expense of the tuition-paying community.

Nevertheless, there is an undeniable need to acknowledge the labor and service of school support and ancillary staff, as their tireless commitment makes our professional lives, and the lives of our schools' learners flow so much smoother. As a result, we should strive to honor the contributions of these essential players in our schools throughout the year.

Simple things, like remembering to thank them publicly in newsletters, at the end of concerts and functions or in event programs are starting points. Going further by inviting them to attend special functions or dinners as guests is also something to consider. At the end of the award ceremony on sports days, give a medal to the nurse who labored all day in the sun or to the janitors who showed up at 6:30 in the morning to prepare the grounds for the event.

Take every opportunity to learn the names of the support and ancillary staff in your school, no matter what your role: student, parent, teacher or school leader. Calling these people by name is the most basic form of acknowledgement, yet sometimes the most neglected. Why not invite them into your classrooms as guest speakers? As a boy, I remember thinking the school janitor was the luckiest man alive. As I sat at a desk all day, he could go wherever he wanted, whenever and he had keys that could open seemingly mysterious doors. His work closet was also a place of fascination, crammed full of sensational gadgets. We should not underestimate how interesting and educational the lives and work of these staffers might be to our learners. They often have much to share, not only about what they do, but about the values of hard work, family and community. Socially privileged children attending international schools often take the services of such people for granted. A reminder that they, too, have similar - often larger - issues and challenges in their lives can be an eye-opening experience for our children.

If you can, make a place in the school celebrating these people. Post their names, their roles and facts about them that might help students and other members of the community better appreciate and empathize with them. You might also consider inviting a member of your support and ancillary team to say a few words at a graduation ceremony or even join a school field trip as a chaperone. If your school doesn't have a special bonus or award scheme for diligent support and ancillary staff, it may be time to start one. Most importantly, we should all remember to say hello to them when we pass them, no matter what time of the day. They deserve it, and more!

The added benefit to your organization might also be greater morale and efficiency, not to mention higher levels of retention in these important, though often overlooked and understated roles. Good support and ancillary staff are not expendable. They work with and can be trusted around our children, and should therefore be highly valued. This said, the pure business benefits should not be the sole stimulus for action. Compassion for these unsung players whose long days and weekly toil make our children's learning possible, should last all year long. This is worth reflecting on before the season of giving and caring once again passes us by.