500 stolen grand and falling into the labyrinth of crazies
Print Edition
"HEY guys. Today we’re going to read our files. These files are about us, so stick around as... Wren, stop punching Falcon! Sparrow, stop taking bets. The only one here with more sense is Jackdaw, and he’s in a corner crying about Black Tiger or something.”
“IT’S BLACK PANTHER!”
“Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Three bucks on the one with the brown hair! Ten bucks on the guy getting pummelled! Fight! Fight! Figh—”
POW!
“Awww. I had 13 bucks on Falcon. Wren, I’ll pay you back tomorrow.”
“That idiot Falcon stole 500 grand from my vault! MY VAULT! 500 GRAND! I’ll teach him a lesson when he wakes up. Maybe...”
“Alright, guys. Stop fighting. Jackdaw, stop crying and get over here! Sparrow, stop eating donuts! Wren, stop doing that to Falcon, and laughing maniacally! We have to read the files on camera or Kingfisher will make us run through the Labyrinth... AGAIN!”
Everyone stopped (even Falcon) and shuddered in fear.
Rose sighed.
“Let’s start with my file, hmm? Alright. So... name is Rachael, got that right, red hair, beige jacket... correct so far.”
“Beige jacket? I thought you only wore III Juggernaut armor.”
“Very funny, Sparrow. Let’s move on. Addicted to... very loud and dangerous missions? Got that right... has a crush on Wren? Has a custom Glock? It’s a Deagle!”
Sparrow snickered, Wren snorted, and Falcon... well, he was still out for the count. Oh, and Jackdaw was still sobbing in the corner. Poor Chadwick Boseman.
Rose continued: “Alright, let’s move on to Wren. This should be good.”
Wren shuddered. (again). Rose continued. “Wren has... brown hair, black eyes, giant ego, (insert Sparrow snickers in the background), real name is Ed? Didn’t know that ... thought his name was Emo. He also apparently has a giant ego. Knew that already.”
Wren suddenly joined Jackdaw in the sobbing-dramatically-with-rain-clouds-over-your-head corner. Sparrow snorted.
Rose continued: “Let’s move on to Sparrow, shall we?”
Sparrow clammed up.
“Blue hair... green eyes... loves donuts... used to be part of the Russian Mafia as their escape heli? Used to work as a professional contract killer? Went M.I.A six years ago? Dang!”
Sparrow looked away.
“I wasn’t exactly great back then...”
An awkward silence ensued.
Then Falcon woke up.
“Hey guys, what’s going on? Why’s Sparrow crying? Why’s Rose staring at her? Why’s Jackdaw still crying? Why’s Wren coming toward me with a giant stick? Wren? What are you—wait—no—don’t! Gah! Stop hitting me with that thing, Wren!”
“THIS IS FOR THE 500 GRAND YOU STOLE!”
“We’re going to have to run the Labyrinth again, aren’t we?”
Such is the life of a Level 3 Stronghold operative.
(Alexander is a Year 8 student at Nord Anglia International School.)
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