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May 20, 2019

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Mediation for 鈥榠mpulsive divorce鈥

It finally dawned on Zhang Liwen (a pseudonym) and her husband that separation was not a solution after they filed for divorce four times in two years due to endless petty quarrels.

When filing for their last divorce, they accepted mediation services offered by volunteers from Hongshan District in the city of Chifeng, northern China鈥檚 Inner Mongolia Autonomous Region.

The couple signed up for the 鈥淗appiness Class鈥 which teaches troubled couples how to manage their marriages.

Chinese people have traditionally set great store on family and marriage. However, the country鈥檚 divorce rate has been on the rise in recent years. China鈥檚 Ministry of Civil Affairs revealed that more than 3.8 million couples registered for divorce last year, with the divorce rate rising for 15 consecutive years. To stem the rising tide, a divorce mediation room was established in the civil affairs bureau of Hongshan District in 2016 by volunteers led by Wang Chunmei, a member of the marriage and family committee under Chifeng鈥檚 psychological association.

鈥淲e are offering free guidance and psychological counseling for couples careening into divorce without careful forethought,鈥 Wang said.

Wang has set up a 鈥淗appiness Class鈥 consisting of 10 courses for the single and married, as well as for those on the verge of separation.

Zhang and her husband fell in love at first sight at a party and were married two years ago.

鈥淲e were always in bitter quarrels or cold wars due to trivial things,鈥 Zhang said. 鈥淚 love him and he loves me, but I didn鈥檛 understand why our marriage was always in crisis.鈥

Reserved and uncommunicative, Zhang鈥檚 husband Wang Peng (a pseudonym) believes that his wife makes trouble out of nothing.

Couples postpone action

鈥淭he mediators gave us skills and specific advice on how to treat our relationship,鈥 Wang said. 鈥淚 realized that couples hit some bumps in their marriage, but impulsive divorce would be a mistake.鈥

The mediation room now has 34 mediators including lawyers and psychologists.

Over the past three years, some 400 couples about to get divorced postponed their decisions after utilizing the resources in the district, according to Zhou Guiqing, vice chairman of the Women鈥檚 Federation in Chifeng. Other places have also used various measures to reduce the number of impulsive divorces.

Last year, the People鈥檚 Court of Yuzhong District, Chongqing Municipality, set up a mediation center for family disputes. It required couples who sued for divorce to finish a questionnaire on their relationship, based on what mediators think could help them.

鈥淭he mediators can help them understand the true meaning of marriage, teach them how to manage marriage and provide targeted solutions to problems that may arise or have arisen in their marriage,鈥 Wang Chunmei said.

But she also pointed out that marriage is, after all, deeply personal.

鈥淭o divorce or not, the choice finally lies with the couple themselves,鈥 Wang said.


 

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